Someone Like You
by mrs.tatro
Summary: Hermione and Severus were in love for years, they built a home together, and they talked about their dreams. Now he's engaged to another woman and Hermione is working as a substitute teacher in a Muggle school because she needs a break from being a witch. What happens when they meet again, and why were they separated in the first place. *Lots of fluff! Update frequently!
1. AUTHORS NOTE!

Some things to know:

*I take NO CREDIT for these characters or the song lyrics I may use. I'm just playing with toys someone else left out for me.

*This is a "song fic" story. Each chapter is named after a song, you should listen to the song before the chapter, some will be more relevant than others. Please send in song requests, I will try to make it happen!

*This story is going to jump around A LOT. I will clearly date it so you know when it is and if it gets confusing to follow just tell me.

*Were going to call the average lifespan of a wizard 180 years! Meaning 60 isn't even middle aged!

*Please review, it's the polite thing to do!

*I'm not going to perfectly follow all dates and such unless it's relevant to the story. For example Harry's children will be referenced but I'm not going to bother worrying about what their age would have been at the time!

***Important Dates:**

Battle at Hogwarts 1998

-Hermione is 17, Snape is 38

Dated 2000-2010

-Hermione 19-29, Snape 40-50

Broke Up 2010-2020

-Hermione 29-39, Snape 50-60


	2. Someone Like You: Part One

A/N: Listen to Someone Like You by Adele while reading this.

This story came to me abruptly as I was listening to this song. I have two chapters written right now and intend to write more to give back story as well as continue this story. Chapters will come in in any order. I'm going to write as I get inspiration! I'll probably be covering from everything from when they started dating on to as far as I get inspiration. Any particular events you want to see ( Birthdays, Anniversaries, Dinner with Friends!) I REALLY need ideas! The more you give me the more you'll get!

* * *

**April 2020**

The fog swirled around the witch who had just appeared onto Spinners End. The night was dense, and moist. The rain was slamming against the tin roofs on the street, reminding her of her Aunt Meredith's old house. The witch, who was now a year away from 40, took a deep breath, and slowly looked around the street. In the past ten years not much had changed, there were still cars parked haphazardly on the street because the driveways weren't quite big enough to accommodate guests. There were a few less children's bikes in the driveway, but definitely more college stickers on the backs of cars. It was easy to notice, for someone who had paid great attention to the amount of children on the block, that there were no longer plastic turtle sandboxes on the lawn filled with toys.

She never asked too many questions when she was a resident, they certainly never hosted block parties. But she was aware that this was a muggle neighborhood. Sometimes that was nice, they didn't have to be too careful because a little oddity wasn't a big deal. They could rarely move their car from the driveway and not call attention to themselves, they were simply "homebodies", and their owl could come and go freely as she had been declared as a family pet, a gift given from an eccentric relative. It was when you had a whole block of people behaving oddly that muggles start to question.

The woman wondered to herself if the new resident of her former home appreciated these things as well, knowing the new lady of the home probably never took thought on them. As she started walking down the road, on the sidewalk that had grass and weeds sticking through cracks, she tried to pull all of her strength to one location. She had a small, simple, gold ring in her pocket. Years back she was working as a potions assistant, a job she found she could no longer perform without severe emotional pain, and her "teacher" for lack of a better word, told her to carry an object with her and use it to center herself. So as she walked, twisting the small gold ring on and off her finger, she put all of her strength into it, knowing that very soon she would need to pull that strength. Even if it didn't work the way her teacher said it would, it stopped her from messing with her caramel hair. Which was a blessing, because after years of work she knew how to tame it, but any amount of "playing" with it returned it to it's frizzy, curly, messy state.

Finally she got to the house she hadn't stepped foot in for ten years. She noticed the warm glow that seemed to be coming from the living room, maybe he finally fixed the fireplace. It had always seemed like such a waste of time to him, he saw no point when they could instantly warm any room. The woman had to look elsewhere, she knew she was going to have to either run away now or step up to the doorway and make herself known. She didn't know if she could do either. So she let her mind wander for a moment more, as she took in every detail of the house, knowing she would never see it again, knowing that even if she did, it would never be "theirs" again. The lawn looked perfect, she wondered if the spells she had cast years ago had held or if new ones had been placed, ten years sounds like an excessive amount of time for a charm to work, but wizards have a much longer lifespan than muggles, ten years is really nothing when it came to charms, it was however, a lifetime when it comes to seeing an old flame. The wizarding world is relatively small, you have to try really hard to not see someone for ten years.

The night was only getting more humid, and she was feeling suffocated by the charm she had cast to keep the rain off herself. She took of the enchantment and finally inhaled deeply, she couldn't believe who she was today. She never would have believed where her life would have turned when she lived here. This was it, she needed to get through this, she spun her gold ring one last time.


	3. Someone Like You: Part Two

A/N: These were the only two strongly formulated chapters in my mind. Leave comments, I am open to suggestions about where this should go. Why do you think she left? Why is she back now? What happened after the war?

* * *

**April 2020**

_Knock Knock Knock_

He had no idea who would be at there home this time of the evening. Especially knocking on the door. They didn't really know muggles, other than the few neighbors they had met here and there. It was ten at night, the old wizard was quite sure this was not an acceptable time for visitors. He had just been sitting and reading, so he wasn't being disturbed but really, that isn't the point.

He stood up and walked to the door with his robes billowing behind him, his fiancé was gone for the next three weeks as she started research on her thesis about squibs and muggleborns. It had come to the attention of the wizarding community that as of lately there were people being suspected of switching squibs with muggleborn babies. This meant that the non magical parents got a child who would appear as a muggle, and the family already accustomed to magic would have a perfect child who would attend Hogwarts just as they had.

The solemn wizard was really rather enjoying time to himself, and was irritated that he had to deal with a caller at his house this late at night. He began to pry the door open, with the intention of telling the unwanted guest to bugger off when he looked up from the doorknob and saw who was standing there.

He hadn't seen, or even heard from her in ten years. But here she was, soaking wet, and on his doorstep. His took a step back, completely unsure of what to do. He was so overwhelmed that all thought left him. And she didn't help, she just stood there. As they stood there the rain kept coming down, the middle aged witch didn't even seem to notice. The older wizard gathered his composure, if only for a moment and took a step forward. It was an instant motion, he hadn't planned on, he just knew that her needed to be just a little bit closer. She didn't make any motion that she recognized what he was doing, and he didn't seem to notice that his one step had become about three and now he was almost standing on his stoop as well, the door behind him practically closed now.

For a full minute they just stood there, rain was bouncing in and every so often a drop or so would land on the tall man in very dark robes standing there. Finally there was a gust of wind and a small burst of thunder. It caused the witch to fumble with the ring she was playing on her finger in her coat pocket and it fell to the bottom with all her change. It brought her to reality, her face changed, she blinked and focused on why she was there.

She looked at him, hoping he was paying attention, because she honestly didn't believe she could say this more than once.

"Hermione, it's raining. Step inside please?" He wasn't sure what to say, but he knew the rain was picking up.

She looked up, and then back at her feet as if she hadn't heard a word he said.

"I wish nothing but the best for you two," The rain was crashing down harder than ever now. The sound of it slamming on the paved road was louder than her voice, but she still sounded firm.

"What? Hermione, come inside please." He pleaded again, he didn't have the slightest clue what was going on. But he knew she was drenched, it looked like she had been outside for hours.

"Severus, no, I can leave. I just..." She faded off and he noticed she resumed playing with something in her pocket, "I just needed to let you know that I want nothing but happiness for you. I should leave, I hate to turn up uninvited. But I needed you to know that I am glad you're happy."

She turned to leave, and walk away. He could tell she felt awkward, and it was evident that she regretted coming here.

As she took several steps down the driveway, he stood there frozen. She was walking away, and he didn't have any idea what had even just occurred. Then he felt a gust of wind and realized that she was almost to the end of his driveway, and once she apperated he would probably never see her face again.

He let his door slam shut and ran out into the pouring rain.

"Wait, Hermione. Please," he was running but he knew she would reach the end of his driveway before he reached her. He felt his heart ripping from his chest, he had only experienced this pain once before. And he wasn't certain he could live with it again. But she wasn't stopping and he had no way to make her. As a last chance effort he cried out, "Not again, No. Please, please don't" As he went on his voice grew quieter. He was sure she was gone, and he dropped to his knees.

But she could hear the anguish in his voice. Something about it caused her to stop in her tracks. He didn't see her stop, he had no idea she had turned around and was starting to walk back to him. But to hear that much pain come from a man who, for so long, was void of any emotion, was very powerful. She couldn't walk away from his tone of voice.

Slowly she turned around to see him on his knees in the middle of his driveway, his face in his hands. His whole body violently shaking. She didn't know what to do, she was unsure if she should ask him if he was okay.

She wanted to be gentle, but seeing him, sobbing hysterically made her loose her footing. In the instant she lost her composure she said the very last thing she would have ever chosen to say, had she been thinking clearly,

"For me, it isn't over Severus. This wasn't over for me"

He looked up, the second she did she wished she could disappear on the spot. She prayed he hadn't heard. She searched his face, pleading with her eyes for him to ignore the careless thing she just said. Maybe her prayer's were answered, because he responded with only a simple,

"Hermione, please step inside with me. It's raining, you're soaked."


	4. Heart of the Matter

A/N: Please review. Seriously! This story is going to jump around a ton! But I will make sure it's clear and easy to understand. I want this story to be read in the order I wrote it. It isn't meant to be read chronologically.

* * *

**May 2009**

"Hermione, this is ridiculous. Will you please just move on? It isn't a big deal, and you are blowing this ridiculously out of proportion!"

Severus was exasperated, he didn't know what to do, but he knew he could have this argument again. Hermione was standing in the middle of their kitchen, wrapped in a towel with her hair pilled on top of her head. He was sick of bickering about the same thing over and over again, but that didn't mean he didn't notice how gorgeous she was. Over the years her unruly, frizzy hair, had become much more tame. With all of her soft brown hair on top of her head, naturally sitting in prefect curls, he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and hold her. He wanted to brush back the ringlets framing her face and gently kiss her neck. But he knew that wouldn't end well. Nothing had happened between the two of them for months.

She looked like she had been slapped at his words, "Out of proportion?!" She had so much fight in her eyes, that anyone other than the wizard in front of her would have stood down and been horrified. They would have apologized profusely, and prayed that they could be forgiven.

"I'm twenty nine years old! You have been saying we'll 'talk about it' for years. And the only thing you ever say is, 'it would be silly', whats so silly about it Sev?"

"Love, we talked about this before you moved in with me. You know that I'm not comfortable with the idea. You know that I said..." His voice had softened, he really couldn't stand seeing her upset. He wanted nothing more than to give in to her requests, but he couldn't. He knew it would be a purely selfish act. He wasn't willing to inflict that pain upon someone.

She cut him off, "You _said _that you weren't certain. You never said no, you told me we could do things the way we wanted to. You promised me tradition didn't have to matter and that we could do what worked for our family. You said the word family Severus, knowing very well that you were never going to give me a family. How could you?" She tried to be calm and logical. It took all of her effort but she focused all of her strength into not yelling. She tried to take the same tone she used to with the boys, when she was explaining for the fifth time in one night the properties of young mandrake in various potions. She was failing. Her voice was soft, but her eyes... At first they were hurt, and almost brimming with tears. But as she ended, they may as well have belonged to a basilisk. She was heartbroken, and furious at him for lying to her.

"Hermione, I never said no. I just said not right now. It just isn't reasonable right now."

"What is so unreasonable about this? We have been together for nine years! We have been living in this house together for six years. I think it's pretty natural for me to want to move forward with you. We could both quit our jobs and live off just our savings for almost a year. You have a steady job where you make your own damn hours and I've been teaching for the past five years. How could we be in a better place Severus?" She sighed, she was sick of fighting with the man standing in front of her, sick of hinting at her desires, so she just said it,

"I want a baby Severus."

"We aren't married."

They had been skirting around the issues for a while, for years Hermione had pointed out every new baby that was brought onto Spinners End. And Severus had been walking slowly by the jewelry store, trying to get the love of his life to want to step inside.

"You said it didn't matter," She felt so hurt that this was being thrown at her. He knew she couldn't. He knew it would be too hard for her.

After the war she couldn't find her parents. She tried for years, she had everyone she could think of assist her. She used every means of magical and muggle tracking available, but they simply weren't on the map. A wedding would mean a big empty room, with no one sitting on her side of the church. All of her family was relocated, they didn't even know she existed.

"Well, I care. I don't want you to just be the mother of my children, I want you to be my wife. And I'm not young. I'm going to die, sooner than you would like to imagine. And you would be left alone. I can't do that to you. I can't do that to a child either, but I don't care about them, I care about you. Be my wife. Don't leave me Hermione, be my wife?" He was pleading, tears were in his eyes now, as he took a step towards her he saw her tense up. He hated that this was causing her pain.

"Severus, you're not going anywhere. But that isn't the point. I want children Sev, why won't you give this to me?" She looked so hurt, she looked so spent.

He closed the gap between them, walking slowly around the island in the kitchen. He didn't care what the consequences were, he needed to hold her. He needed her to feel his love. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He nuzzled his nose into her neck as tears began to fill her eyes.

She flattened his hands out on her stomach, knowing that she was never going to have his children. At the same time, without her noticing, he felt her ring finger on her left hand. Realizing that there would never be a ring he gave to her there.

And as they stood there, silently crying. Neither willing to stand down, they didn't realize that things were only going to get worse. They couldn't have predicted that this would be one of their last fights about the matter.


	5. You and Tequilla

A/N: I've know people are reading and following this so I beg you PLEASE leave feedback. I have no clue where I'm going with this so I'm very open to suggestions. Also I'm writing this to kill time while my husband is in Bootcamp to be a United States Marine so I could really use some encouragement and interactions. I feel like this story seems a little rushed and unrealistic, but I want to get a lot into this story.

* * *

**April 2020**

She took a deep breath before she stepped through the doorway. She knew this was going to be hell, she just didn't realize what kind of hell.

She had expected to see a home she didn't recognize. She braced herself to see furniture he had picked out with another woman, and her shoes on the inside of the door way. She was ready to see tokens from vacations on mantel and sense that she was somewhere she shouldn't be. She had realized the house would smell entirely different than she had grown used to.

It had been ten years and for the last two of them another woman had been living in the home, making it hers. Hermione was ready to see a different brand of soap sitting by the sink, and had acknowledged, even though it hurt, that there would be different photos covering the refrigerator. When she finally stepped foot inside the tiny home that she had spent so much of her life in she closed her eyes.

As she opened them and inhaled deeply what she got was worse than a punch to the stomach.

Nothing had changed, at all. There was almost no sign another human being lived in this house, not a shoe or jacket in sight, they must be in the closet she reasoned. There was next to nothing above the fireplace and she felt more like she was here to make a bid on the home than talk to someone that had lived in it for years. The soap sitting next to the sink was exactly the same as it was when she last used it to do the dishes. The fridge looked sparse, but nothing had been added or moved, only a few things had been taken down. There was still the magazine photo of the hardwood floors Hermione had put up when they were considering renovating the house. The picture of a potions lab that Harry and Ginny's daughter had drawn when she was four was still up. There were photographs of beaches, and tourist locations they had been to throughout the years. The only thing missing were photos that contained Hermione and Severus.

And finally the smell, it was as though she had just stepped outside a moment ago and was coming back in. It was a scent so distinct and strong that she could tell it hadn't changed even a little bit. It still smelled of the fabric softener she used to put in the laundry, with a touch of her favourite candle that she would burn while cooking dinner and listening to the radio. When she closed her eyes and took another breath in she almost felt like nothing had changed. She was actually surprised when she opened her eyes and was brought back to the present by Severus clearing his throat.

She looked up at him to acknowledge that she was just taking her time to get adjusted, and she looked around for a moment more. There was only addition that she had not noticed before was a large plastic bin in the corner, filled with empty bottles. Empty liquor bottles, and a lot of them. She was a little taken aback, he used to give her a hard time if she had an extra glass of wine with dinner, she couldn't imagine him being with a hard drinker.

She looked at him, finally ready to say whatever needed to be said. When she looked into his eyes it dawned on her, she hadn't seen it before, she must have been too nervous.

"You're... you're drunk Severus. What the hell!" She didn't know what to do, or say. She had never seen him drink before, ever.

"I'm not, really. I just had one drink, it's not a big deal. I'm of age, and you drink. Don't be a hypocrite" He was definitely getting defensive, he didn't want to. He wanted to enjoy the little time he knew he would have with her, but the anger just came out.

"I'm not an alcoholic Sev you appear to be." She was hurt at his anger and didn't want to make it worse, but she felt it needed to be said.

"You showed up at my house Hermione, why are you here?" He didn't want to get to the point. Because then she would leave, but he didn't want this to turn into a conversation about his sobriety. She looked embarrassed.

"You're right. I'm sorry, I was just... I just came to tell you that I wish you and... her the best. I heard about, um... the wedding. And I just wanted you to know that I'm happy for you. I can leave now, I just wanted you to know that."

"But what about the other thing you said," He looked scared.

"What about what _you _said Severus? What did you mean 'not again'? Not again what?"

"I meant... I meant you can't leave me again. I meant I can't loose you again"

"You're getting married in four months. You don't have me. We aren't together, you're in love with your wife." It killed her to say but it needed to be said, he was obviously only saying these things because he was drunk.

He looked at her with disgust in his eyes, "She is NOT my wife,"

He inhaled and looked her in the eyes.

"I don't love her, I never have, and her and I both know it. I love you Hermione, I have never stopped loving you. I will never stop loving you."

With that he closed the distance between them and pressed his body against hers. He wrapped one hand in her soaking wet hair, the other he squeezed her hip with. He stared into her eyes, looking straight into her soul. He was the first and last person who ever looked at her this way. After moments of being pressed against each other Severus pulled her face to his and forced his lips upon hers. He kissed her with so much force, and power, that even if she wanted to she couldn't have broken away.

And for a moment she didn't give a damn. She didn't care that she was standing in another woman's home, kissing another woman's fiancé. All she knew was his lips were prefect, he tasted like tequila. A lot like tequilla, but he still tasted like her Severus. The same man who lifted her up and carried her through the front door of this home the first night she stayed there. All she cared about was this kiss not ending, but she knew it was going to have to.


	6. Long Live: Part One

A/N: By the time my husbands done bootcamp you guys are going to have a legit novel. I just can't stop writing. So, as a heads up, I almost cried writing this [I'm pregnant, so it doesn't take much] but it is a rough one. I know the dating has been a little funky. I'll work on getting some more timeline info in soon. Please review. They really make me want to write more.

Also this has sort of become a compilation of song fics, so if you can think of a song I should use let me know. I will definitely try!

* * *

**April 2010**

All of Hermione's things were packed. What felt like a lifetime of memories got crammed into her SUV. She refused to take the furniture, saying she had no where to put it anyways.

The entire process had been very civil, heart breaking, earth shattering, but civil none the less. They knew it couldn't work, all Severus wanted was marriage and all Hermione wanted was children, and neither of them was willing to budge, because even though witches and wizards generally have an average lifespan of about 180 years old they were both getting older, and logically they knew that if they weren't going to get what they wanted they should end it now.

They started with the easy stuff, clothing and books. It was easy to throw all of her clothes in the car, they clearly were hers and only hers. Then things got tricky, they had an entire life they had built together. Pots and pans, plates and cups. They mostly split that half and half. Hermione left all the big stuff, the crock pot and the coffee maker with Severus. It was the "logical" thing to do, he had a home. And for the time being she was moving in with Ron, until she got things figured out.

But then there was the stuff no one knew what to do with. The sea shells and sand that she forced him to save after their vacation in California. The comforter they purchased together the day before they moved in together. And the photos, the thousands of photographs that came along with a ten year relationship. Painfully, slowly, but eventually Hermione sorted it all out. Severus couldn't handle it, but she knew it needed to be done, if not for practical matter just to clear out her own mind. And she made piles. The night before she moved out they sat down and she went over all the household stuff one more time, then he wrote out a list of the things she would need to care for on her car. She didn't need one, but being raised a muggle she was always attached to the idea of driving around. Severus had spent months learning everything he would need to know to make sure she was safe in it, because even a wizard can die in a car crash if they aren't paying close enough attention.

Finally after she explained how to properly do laundry, Severus had been having house elves at Hogwarts do it his whole life, and he explained that every 3 months she needed an oil change they sat on their living room floor. With three boxes of photos in front of them, one for each and one to be gotten rid of. She separated them the best way she logically could, she treated it as any other homework assignment.

Photos from Harry's wedding, and Arthur Weasley's retirement party were hers. Where as the photos from Draco's wedding and Severus' final week teaching belonged to him. but then there were countless photos of just them. A picture Hermione took the first time Severus carried her into their home, and the endless photos from their numerous vacations. She tried her best to sort them into one category or the other, claiming it was only reasonable but in her heart knowing it was because she couldn't bear to put them in the trash can. But at the end of her assignment there was still a box of photos, ones of them kissing, several Hermione had taken of them while they were lying in bed with only a sheet over them. She had asked Severus if he wanted to go through them before she got rid of them but he refused.

"So, do you have everything you need to make it to Ronalds tomorrow?" His voice was void of all emotion. The past week had taken everything out of him and he couldn't hold it together anymore. He just needed to get through the night and tomorrow he could have a breakdown. He just needed her to get out of Spinners End and he could loose all composure.

"Yeah, the gas tank is full. You already checked my fluids, thank you by the way. Everything's packed. I'm not going to worry about setting an alarm, I'll just wake up whenever I do tomorrow, then get ready and head out. Ronald knows not to expect me until later." Her voice had almost the same tone as his. She knew this is what needed to happen she just couldn't handle it any longer.

They sat there is almost complete silence, on the floor with their backs against the couch. Neither of them knew what to say, it's easy when one person breaks anothers heart. You can be mad, you can place blame. But when it just isn't working anymore? You can't help but feel like your getting into a car you know is going to crash, you know it's going to hurt, but there isn't another option.

Severus picked up one of the photos on top of Hermione's box, it was the two of them at their God daughters baptism. Harry asked them to be Lily's godparents, with the reasoning that if anything happened to Ginny and Himself that Hermione and Severus would raise her most closely to the way they themselves would.

"Promise me one thing?" Severus looked into Hermione's eyes, hoping that she wouldn't deny him this one last wish.

"Anything, name it." She had no clue what to expect, but this was not it.

"When you have children someday, when they point to the pictures," he flipped the one he was holding up, "please tell them my name."

"I don't know if I'll be having children, Severus." She said flatly as if it was an answer.

"Please. Promise me, tell them how I hope they shine? Please" He was now looking at her with such desperation in his eyes. She knew he truly meant it.

"Of course, of course I will."


	7. Long Live: Part Two

A/N: This one gets a bit sexual. I changed the rating because of that, just as a heads up. I've never written in this context before so constructive criticism would be great but don't be too harsh! Also sorry for the cliffhanger at the end, it'll probably be awhile until I give you more details but I promise I will and at the rate I'm writing it may be sooner than I think. Please review, even if it's only a copy and paste of your favourite lines.

* * *

**April 2010**

It was about fifteen minutes after midnight when Severus stood up,

"We should get to bed," he paused, registering how awkward and harshly unfamiliar that sounded. "I mean... I need to get to bed, I can sleep on the couch tonight so you can sleep in the bed." He grabbed the pillows and tossed one on to the couch, as he was adjusting the blanket Hermione grabbed his hand.

"Or, you could come to bed with me." She sounded unsure, unsure if this was appropriate, but her voice held such longing. He couldn't say no to her. He knew it would kill him in the morning, but he needed to have this one last chance.

"Are you sure. It's really fine, I understand if you don't want to sleep in the same bed as me." He needed to know she wasn't doing this out of guilt.

"Severus, please know. I had the time of my life with you. I will love you, forever, until the day that I die. We just... we can't be together. And that's okay. But I would love nothing more than to sleep in the same bed as you." She knew she was going to start crying, she focused as hard as she could on a freckle on his chin, trying to make the emotion pass.

"Then lead the way," He wasn't expecting anything, he just needed to hold her one last time. He thought, remember this moment. He knew this was it, so he held on tight as she grabbed his hand and walked up the stairs with him. He knew this was the end.

Halfway up the stairs she turned to him and looked into his eyes, he always felt that she was looking right into his soul. She leaned forward, stood on her toes, and kissed him. Soft and gentle at first, then slowly gaining power. It was as if with each passing second she knew they were closer to goodbye.

He was trying to hold back, he really was, but when she started to put more force into the kiss he could feel himself loosing control. The moment she dug her nails into his back he knew there was no hope for the situation.

She let out a slight whimper as he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his hips. For his age he was VERY fit, she wondered if she had told him that enough. But only for a moment because as he carried her upstairs all she could focus on was enjoying this as if it was the last night of her life, it may as well have been and she knew it. With every step her fingers dug deeper into his back, and his lips pressed more furiously into hers. When he got up the stairs and down the hall he kicked the bedroom door open and tossed her into bed, quickly climbing up and straddling her and he continued to kiss he in between undoing the buttons on his robes. He stopped for just a moment,

"Are you sure?" He didn't want this to be out of guilt, he wanted this to be out of nothing but love. Pure, strong, earth shattering love.

"Yes, unless," she looked worried, "unless you don't want to."

He looked at her and in his eyes she got any answer she was looking for. He laid into her again, kissing her in the most intense but gentle manner she had ever felt.

As she finished with his buttons he pulled her tank top over her head. Taking in everything about her. Breathing in his scent, committing every freckle to memory. As time went on their passion, their need for each other only became more intense. Until finally as they were both under the sheets absolutely naked they couldn't take it anymore. He looked into her eyes, trying to convey how much he loved her into a single glance, kissed her as deeply as he knew how with both of his hands on her cheeks and he slowly, but passionately entered her.

They had been together too many times to count throughout the years, but this time was different. This was the most pure their love making had ever been, they both felt things they never knew they could feel. Hours later, when they had finally exhausted every ounce of energy they had, they laid under their sheets together. Severus lay behind her, breathing in the scent of her hair one last time and wrapped his arms around her. She lay there trying to savor every second she had left. And just before three in the morning they both drifted to sleep.

Their wands downstairs no protection charm having been cast, and Hermione's potion to prevent pregnancy already packed in the car, she hadn't taken it even once in the past week.


	8. Carlene

A/N:

**All my old readers who are just catching up on the story, make sure you check out the new chapter one, it's got lots of helpful information.**

Also I'm seriously running out of ideas, please I beg you, review with a song title or event that you would like me to write about because after 7 chapters in two day's I've got writers block! I'm loving the reviews its great!

* * *

**August 2000**

Harry and Ginny had been engaged for what felt like a lifetime, but in actuality was only about a year and a half. After the war Harry didn't want to propose right away, because he didn't want to be in pain anymore over the war. So many lives were lost, and Harry felt responsible for every one of them. But eventually he healed, they all did. While there would always be a hole in their lives were those they loved used to be, they could smile and laugh without it being painful and feeling guilty.

Harry was working in the Auror department and had been not so patiently counting down the days until Ginny would be his wife. The war had changed everyone, but for most it did not harden them. Almost everyone was now more willing to accept happiness and share love because they all knew how bad things could get.

The "Order" remained in tack, but they largely had nothing to do as of lately, and they had lost so many members. They tried to have dinner together at least every couple of months, and 12 Grimmauld Place sometimes looked like it had been turned into a bed and breakfast. Harry lived there full time, with Ginny staying there most nights. Ron still technically lived at home but most of his belongings were there. Hermione lived there full time, but she was never there. For the past two years she had been searching for her parents endlessly. Two days after the battle she left and showed back up eight months later. Then she had recruited help, she had everyone from the Order help at least a bit. People were pulling strings at the Ministry and she had gone to every Muggle resource she could think of.

She came back to Grimmauld Place in July for good. She had finally made peace with the fact she was never seeing her parents again. After a few weeks of depression she found a way to pull herself out of it, mainly that Harry sat her down and told her to move on with her life. So she got it together, it hurt, everyday, but she was living again.

Ginny and Harry's wedding was going to be the first time she had been out since coming back.

However, she had seen almost everyone because people filtered through the house non stop. The Weasleys were each there on a weekly basis, McGonagall was always blasting through, stressed about her appointment as permanent Headmistress. Hagrid stopped by for a drink every couple of days, and Kingsley updated them on the ministry frequently.

Hermione had gotten used to the revolving door of faces, until one day a couple weeks after she got back she saw an old professor in long black robes step into the kitchen. As she sat there, eating toast, yogurt, and granola and sipping her orange juice she watched him casually walk in and sit down.

After the war Harry cleared Snape's name, everyone assumed he had died that night in the shack. But about a hour or so after the war was won and they were all sitting in the Great Hall, he came walking in with little to no explanation. By this point Harry had explained to everyone what the potions master had done for them. They couldn't believe they had been so wrong for so long, and they couldn't believe just how brave he had been.

So when Severus Snape sat down at the table, a couple seats down from Hermione, she didn't really know how to react. Everyone else had seen him frequently, she hadn't seen him at all since before she left to search for her parents.

"Good Morning Professor Snape, what are you working on today?" she asked as casually as she could as he pulled a couple textbooks and a scroll of parchment out of his bag.

"Good Morning," his tone was skeptical, he looked unsure about her motives. "I'm having lunch with Harry today to go over some things and thought I would get here early and work on lesson plans for this year." He looked at her for a moment, unsure of what to do or say. She had changed a lot over the past couple of years. She didn't look like a student anymore, in fact, he kicked himself for noticing, she looked great.

The war had aged her, just as it had everyone. But she didn't look warn, her hair was wet, from showering he guessed, and it was falling on her shoulders. There was no frizz to it, just beautiful curls. She had on no makeup, but her skin still looked flawless. But what he mostly noticed was how her body had gone from a child to a woman. He had only seen her in a school robe before. So as she stood up to put her glass in the sink, wearing perfectly fitting clothing he was in total shock.

The light blue tank top she was wearing had string thin straps, and was made from very sheer material. He found himself wishing she didn't have on the sweater that was covering it. The tan cardigan she had on overtop of her tank top was made of cotton, and not so see through. But it opened in the front, with no buttons or zippers to keep it closed. He noticed the bottom of the sweater stopped just at the middle of her perfect ass. Standing in the kitchen wearing skinny jeans that hugged every inch and curve of her body perfectly and heels that made her at least a couple inches taller, she looked a lot older than she had been when he last saw her.

She just barely noticed him looking over her when she turned around. But he quickly looked away, so she chalked it up to him thinking of a nasty insult to throw at her or being unsure of why she was being polite. Harry had told her that at first it had been difficult for him to integrate into the group.

"Miss Granger," he started just before she stepped out the door.

"Yes Professor?" There was no anger or attitude in either or their tones. Making it out of the war alive had given him a very new outlook on things. He still felt immense guilt everyday, but he had been given a second chance by the wizarding world and he was taking it.

"I stopped being your teacher years ago, you certainly don't need to call me Professor Snape. But I do appreciate the respect." He looked different she noticed. And she was glad, he deserved to be happy. She had never noticed how fit he really was, and he looked like the weight of the world had been taken off his shoulders. But of course it had, he was no longer playing a double agent. He had time to take care of himself. And up close she realized his hair wasn't really greasy. It definitely had a shine to it, but it wasn't because it was dirty. It just looked that way because of how dark it was.

"Then, logically, you shouldn't call me Miss Granger either." She smiled a little as she said this in a playful tone, "Also I would like to thank you, for what you did for us. I was hoping we could start fresh. Pretend there is no bad history between us." She looked concerned about what his response would be.

"That would be great. I look forward to seeing you again, Hermione." He had a hard time with the last word, but when he finally said it a small smile spread on her face.

"Have a great day, Severus." And with that she gave a small smile and walked out of the kitchen. She didn't the wide smile that spread across his face.


	9. Tounge Tied

A/N: I wasn't sure if I should make these all different songs, but really this chapter, the previous one, and the next one are all really the same scene in my mind, it just would have been way to long and needed to be broken up. I have a bajillion thoughts inside my head as to what needs to happen, so if the story starts getting too jumpy let me know.

I'm not sure if having all these "past" memories and such right next to each other is too much, But I can't keep going back to 2020 because things there are going to start happening pretty fast and I wouldn't have time to tell all the other back story.

I'm starting the last and final part of this right now so it should be up very soon! The next one should be a very good one! With more dialogue!

* * *

**August 25th, 2000**

"Hermione," Harry looked at her thoughtfully, "Thank you, for being my best friend these past years. Thank you for being my friend and not being concerned about what the wizarding world thought. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for you"

They were standing in Ron's bedroom at The Burrow. Today Harry was marrying the love of his life. Hermione had stepped in to talk to Harry one last time before the ceremony. All of their loved ones were sitting in folding white chairs on the lawn. Waiting for the Bride and Groom to make their appearance. Mrs. Weasley had been fussing over every detail for the past two weeks, making sure there wasn't so much as an out of place blade of grass on the lawn.

Ginny and Harry couldn't have cared less. They were just thrilled to be finally getting married.

"Of course Harry, you are my family. You have been for years. I've been so lucky to be your best friend and I can't wait to watch you build a life with Ginny." She had a huge smile on her face, she was so thankful that her best friend was finally getting all the happiness he deserved.

"But I suppose, this means I need to start looking for a more permanent place to live" She flashed a sweet smile at her best friend, making sure he knew she was simply joking.

"That place is huge 'Mione. I only ever see you if I go looking for you anyways. I would be more than happy for you to stay there as long as you want. Anyways, Ginny and I are probably going to start looking for another home soon anyways. Of course I would keep Grimmauld Place, but there's not much cozy about it."

Hermione was adjusting Harry's tie and trying to force his hair to lay flat when Ronald Weasley walked into the room.

"Oh, um... I can come back" He looked as if he didn't know what to do, he made a motion to turn and leave, then seemed to change his mind and turn back in, then finally turned to leave again.

"Ronald, it's good to see you. Stay, I was just heading down anyways. The ceremony is supposed to start soon. I'll go take my seat you you," she pointed to Ron, "Make sure he looks smart before walking down the aisle. I will see you both after the ceremony." She gave Harry a kiss on the cheek before walking out of the room.

Harry made sure she was down the stairs before turning to his best man. "Really Mate?"

"It's not my fault Harry, it's just so awkward now. I'm not angry with her or anything. It's a good thing we aren't together anymore, that was a train wreck. It's just still so strange to be around her. Neither of us know how to act."

They had broken up after a short nine months of dating after the war. They just didn't work. They spent nearly all their time arguing, they had none of the same life goals. Ron was madly in love with her, and so physically attracted to her it was unbelievable. But it wasn't working and Hermione didn't feel the attraction so they split up, very peacefully, with a little awkwardness left over.

Harry looked at his watch, "Ready to head down there?"

"Of course, I'll be standing right there next to you the whole time. But I'm not going to tell you to run now, she is my sister after all"

With that they headed down the stairs and walked one by one down the aisle. Moments later they were all on their feet and Ginny was walking towards Harry. There was no doubt in anyones minds that they were made for each other. Hermione looked at them longingly, so happy for her friends, hoping she would find that someday. But knowing that even if she did, she wouldn't be walking down any aisle in a white dress. The day she came home and stopped looking for her parents her life had drastically changed, a wedding would not be happening.

After the ceremony they all walked over to the tent where the reception would be held while the Newlyweds spent a few moments alone together and then had photographs taken. Hermione walked over to the table that had the guest book and the seating card on it. As she was standing there, searching for her name she felt someone walk beside her. She found her name on one of the cards,

_Hermione Granger_

_Table 9_

Just as she reached to grab it the man next to her took his, she finally looked up to see who it was. He gave a brief smile and turned his card around for her to see,

_Severus Snape_

_Table 9_


	10. Young Blood

A/N: So this has gone on MUCH longer than I had anticipated. I'm fairly certain I'm going to rename these last three chapters. But I swear! next chapter will be the last wedding one. I promise. Has this gone on too long? I need to know if in the future I should refrain from letting things go this long!

* * *

**August 25th 2000**

"Can I walk you to your seat?" Severus sounded a little more reserved than he had when it was just the two of them in the kitchen Hermione noticed. She wasn't sure why but he looked happy to see her.

"I'm going to go get a drink first, would you like to join me?" She could really use a moment of quiet before she stepped into what she knew was going to be a very long night, but asking him to join her seemed like the polite thing to do.

"No thank you, I'll just see you in there I suppose." He looked a little hurt, and even more solemn than he had when he first said hello. As she walked to the bar she found herself wishing she had gone with him. She didn't want him to be offended.

She gave a sweet smile before heading to get a drink. Once she was over there she debated wether or not she should bring him a drink back, but decided against it realizing she had no idea what men drank. She ordered herself a glass of white wine, downed it within moments, and got one more before walking back to her table. She never drank, until about a month before she stopped looking for her parents. Since then she had been drinking probably more than she should, but she would never admit that.

She found her table and sat down, stumbling a little before making it safely to her seat. Her second glass of wine was already half gone and she realized that she hadn't eaten that day and it was five in the evening. She made a mental note to load up on the carbs during dinner as to not get embarrassingly drunk.

She was relieved to see that her former professor didn't look annoyed or angry at her for leaving him earlier.

"Anyone else show up yet?" She wasn't sure what to say. So figured small talk would be best.

"Not yet. I saw Minerva's card said this table, but she won't be able to make it. She's having an awful time getting the castle prepared for September 1st. That leaves us four more table mates."

"Two, actually, The Longbottoms are supposed to be at Table 9 but Luna's doctor put her on bed rest for the remainder of her pregnancy last week. So they won't be coming either."

"Well, I hope you don't mind having to talk to me for a while then. However, I probably won't be staying too long. Even before I was the bad guy of our world I didn't really enjoy group events," For some reason he couldn't explain Severus Snape was very glad that no one else seemed to be showing up at their table. He forced himself to believe it was just because despised large affairs. In his gut, he knew that he was more than happy to spend the rest of the night talking to Hermione. She was absolutely beautiful, and he would have looked at her all night if he could have found a way to appropriately do so.

"Of course I don't mind," A small smile spread on her face that Severus tried to ignore, "Plus, I'm sure it doesn't help that it's a wedding. Men notoriously hate weddings." She had finished her second glass of wine, and thanks to magic it would refill itself anytime it became empty. She started on her third glass, without really noticing. Logically she knew she should stop drinking, but she told herself it was a wedding, you were supposed to get drunk.

"Actually, I have no problem with weddings. I've always thought they were really sweet actually." He looked a little embarrassed to be admitting this. And it didn't escape his attention that Hermione looked shocked at this revelation. The DJ's voice boomed loudly over the music,

"If you will all please rise and look to the entrance, It's my pleasure to introduce, for the first time in public Mr. and Mrs. Harry Potter!" Everyone cheered and then resumed their seats.

After a few long winded speech by what seemed like every member of the Weasley clan music started playing and Harry and Ginny twirled around the dance floor for their first dance.

Hermione looked over at Severus to say something, but before she could she noticed the look in his eyes as he watched them. He looked almost sad, as he watched longingly out on the dance floor. She wasn't totally sure what to make of it.

"If you'll excuse me for a moment. I'll be right back, I'm going to step into the ladies room briefly."

"I'll be here," he looked over at the rest of the still empty table. "Apparently alone," he said, with a tone to his voice that didn't sound entirely disappointed. She gave him a small smile as she stood up, and then quickly tripped and sat back down. He looked at her with concern.

"Sorry, I'm just... clumsy" With that she stood up and walked away, a little unsteady, thinking she really needed to eat something before she made an even bigger ass of herself.

He tried to brush off her falling over, maybe she was just uncoordinated, he hadn't been watching how much she had been drinking so he had no reason to believe otherwise.

As she walked away he tried, and failed miserably, to keep himself from staring. Her hair was pulled to one side and pinned back into a ponytail with huge soft curls. Some strands had come loose and were framing her face, it made her look even better than had her hair stayed were she put it to begin with. He had never been one for jewelry but her earrings and the necklace she had on made her look fantastic. Her dress only had one shoulder strap, and the material hung loosely, without diminishing her obviously perfect curves. The dress made her perfect breasts look larger than they already were and he could see just enough cleavage to be overwhelmingly attracted to her, without thinking her a slut. And finally at the bottom section of the dress it got tight, making a tube and hugging her incredible ass. The dress stopped several inches above her knee and he was sure that if she bent over people would stop looking at the Bride and Groom to see the exposed witch in the middle of the room.

But no one else seemed to be looking at her, and he didn't understand why. Single men were all around the room and no one had so much as blinked her way when she stood up to leave.

He found himself wrestling with his thoughts when she came back. He couldn't be attracted to her, he just couldn't.

"I'm back," She said this in a sing song voice as she smiled widely and sat down. He noticed that everytime she moved from her seat she got more and more clumsy. He looked at the wine glass in her hand, as she emptied it and it magically refiled. He looked in her eyes and saw that she was, no question about it, drunk.

"Miss me?" She smiled and asked flirtatiously. Then quickly tried to pull herself together when she saw the look on the older wizards face.

"I'm sorry, that was completely inappropriate, I'm so sorry." She looked like she was going to die there in her seat.

"No, don't be. It's a wedding, you're allowed to have fun. I was just wondering, and its not even my place to ask this, but how many glasses of wine have you had?" He tried to keep the judgement out of his tone, he was honestly just concerned.

"Um, no it's fine. I don't mind you asking."

"Then, Hermione, would you mind answering me?"

"I can't. I... I don't really know."

At this point Severus was honestly concerned, she was so thin, and now that he thought about it he had been watching her drink consistently for the past four hours, and he hadn't seen her eat anything. He tried to keep all judgement out of his tone, he needed to make sure she was okay.

"Come for a walk with me please?" He stood up and held out his hand for her. He looked down at her with concern in his eyes. And she was intoxicated so she followed him without any concern as to where they were going.

* * *

A/N: This is a link to the dress I mentally had Hermione wearing

.


	11. We Are Young

A/N: So this is a long one. And it still doesn't really wrap everything up. Theres a ginormous cliffhanger at the end. And you may not get your answer for a while!

* * *

**August 25th 2000**

They quietly slipped out of the tent, no one noticed, which Severus was glad for. He had been redeemed by the wizarding world but that doesn't change the fact that him leading a very drunk Hermione Granger out of the tent alone would have seemed very suspicious.

"Hermione, are you okay?" They were walking up the small hill behind the house, he needed to get her fresh air, and he needed to make sure she was okay.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just mortified. I'm so sorry Professor Snape." She took the water bottle he was offering her and drank some of it.

"Hermione, my name is Severus. And you have nothing to be mortified over, I'm not your teacher anymore, I'm your equal. It happens, people get drunk. I just need to know you're okay." He started handing her crackers, knowing that she had to eat something or she wasn't going to get any better.

"Thank you, but... why? Why do you care?" She didn't look hostel just honestly curious.

"I just... I don't want to see you get hurt Hermione. You really are amazing. And alcohol poisoning isn't something to mess with. You're so thin, you can't drink nonstop like I just watched you do. You'll get hurt." He didn't want to cross the line, but he didn't want her to think he was kidding. She needed to know this was a big deal.

"I know," she looked resigned, "But I'm not that thin."

He found it odd that that was the thing she chose to comment on but didn't think too much of it. They sat on the grass at the top of the hill for a few moments. Severus was looking over the tent and the people scattered on the lawn, Hermione was only looking at Severus.

She had never noticed before how kind his eyes could be, and she had never seen such a caring and gentle side of him. She was amazed how much concern he had for her tonight. She sighed, thinking that in all reality he had a lot of the traits she looked for in a man. But mostly, being that she still very drunk, she couldn't stop thinking about how damn attractive he was. He had cut his hair a little shorter since she saw him last. And it wasn't so flat and smooth to his head, it actually had some volume. She could tell he was definitely getting some grey hair as he aged, but it made him look better. He had such strong facial features, and Hermione could tell through his robes how toned he was. You could vaguely see how pronounced his biceps were, and it was very obvious that his muscles were toned, there was not extra fat anywheres.

She couldn't believe how attractive she was finding him. Under the influence of alcohol her feelings of attraction only intensified.

He looked over and caught her staring.

"Sorry, I was just... thinking, and spacing out" Hermione was blushing furiously at this point. "We should go back to the wedding." She suggested. She wasn't really committed to the idea, but she knew they couldn't just sit here all night.

"Are you sure you're alright?" He was truly concerned, and Hermione couldn't help but find that absolutely adorable.

"Yes, I'm fine. I'm just going to step into the house before heading back to the reception. Are you going home soon?" She didn't want to prompt him to leave, but she also wanted to know if she had a little time to go pull herself together without risking him leaving.

"No, I'll be staying for awhile." He looked as if that should be obvious, Hermione wasn't total intoxicated yet. She clearly remembered him saying he would be leaving shortly, that was a couple hours ago. As they walked back to the wedding she tried, without success, to stop herself from wishing that him staying had anything to do with her.

He stepped back into the tent while Hermione walked into The Burrow. It had been her second home for so long that she felt at peace being there. It wasn't like stepping into a friends home, it was like stepping into your own home. She walked through the kitchen and headed up the stairs, in a mission to get to Ginny's bathroom. She hadn't looked in a mirror in a while but she was sure she needed to. Walking down the hallway she heard noise coming from Ronald's bedroom and was planning on peaking her head in to say hello.

"Ron, I just wanted to..." she flung the door open as she began talking, and as she did saw Ron, shirtless on his twin sized bed, straddling some thin blond woman she had never seen before, a woman who happened to be naked. "Oh My, I am so sorry,"

Hermione was muttering as she walked out the door, when it was safely closed she said in a very calm voice, "I'm very sorry for the intrusion, I was just stopping to say hello, pretend that didn't happen."

She quickly shuffled to the bathroom hoping that no one would mention what had just happened. When she got into the bathroom Ginny primarily used she took a deep breath. She didn't look awful. She touched up her makeup, very carefully, making sure she didn't put on too much. And spent a couple minutes sitting on the edge of the bathtub breathing. The longer she sat there the more frustrated she got. She didn't want to be with Ron, but she wanted to be with someone. For the past two years everyone around her has been sleeping around, and partying, and acting like a teenager while she search the earth for her parents. She didn't go out at nights and party because she was busy doing research for the next day. She never slept around because spending an awkward night with a stranger was less important than doing shots at the bar.

Suddenly all these emotions washed over her. She was furious that she lost her parent's, she was pissed off that she now had to grow up and be an adult when she never got to be a child, and more than anything she wanted to get absolutely shit faced drunk and forget everything.

She stormed out of the bathroom with one goal and one goal only, to get as intoxicated as she possibly could and to do it quickly. The noises from behind Ronald Weasley's door only intensified that feeling. She walked down stairs and headed straight for the kitchen. George was sitting at the kitchen table with a full bottle of Vodka in front of him, Hermione never had a strong relationship with him in school but after the final battle they became much closer. Now they had a strong relationship and completely saw each other as family. She walked up, grabbed the bottle and downed it for several seconds while George just gave her a funny look.

"Rough night?" He asked, looking rather amused.

"I don't want to talk about it," she took another long drink from the bottle.

"Alright, well, go for it. I have had those days myself." He grabbed the bottle and took several short shots himself. He gave her a questioning look and handed the bottle back to her. She let out a long heartbreaking sigh, and took another minute long shot.

"I just... I feel like the past two years of my life have been wasted. And I didn't even find them. I just gave up the best years of my life, and I don't even have my parents back. I just, I really need to get drunk and let loose. I need to sleep with someone that I have no intention of being with, I'm almost 20 and a virgin. It's pathetic" He finished his shot as she finished her rant. Finally she took the bottle back, and in one long fast shot she drained the bottle. Set it on the table, a little harder than she would have liked to and gave George a long considering look. The last thing she could remember was leaning over the kitchen table and kissing George on the cheek.

The next morning she woke up in a quiet house, sleeping in a queen sized bed. She saw her dress hanging over a chair across the room. All the blinds were drawn in the room and the door was shut tightly. She looked down and noticed she was wearing a mans button up dress shirt, and took the time to appreciate how nice the comforter on the bed was.

She had no idea where she was, what time it was, or what happened the night before. There wasn't a man in sight, and she was laying in an unfamiliar bed, wearing a mans shirt, and nothing else. The thong she was wearing the night before lay on the chair next to her dress.


	12. It's All Coming Back to Me

A/N: So the April 2020 scenes are going to be considerably shorter for a while because I want to go back to it, but I don't want to sum it all up in a couple chapters. I need an honest opinion, does the story seem choppy and crappy when there are a bunch of different flashback dates in a row? Can I spend 10 chapters in a row doing past dates before going back to 2020?

* * *

**April 2020**

Standing in the middle of the living room, Hermione and Severus continued to kiss. Arms wrapped around each other, their tongues exploring each others mouths. Hermione knew the past ten years of trying to forget him were now gone. She spent so many nights forcing herself to block every memory of him. And she knew that was all gone now, she forced herself to break free. She took a small step back, and looked him over. Bracing for the regret she knew should would find in his eyes she looked him over. He may have said things but that didn't change anything, he was drunk.

He couldn't help but notice the look on her face, she looked heartbroken. He knew he had crossed a line by kissing her, and he was really upset that he had caused her pain. He took a step back himself, putting more distance between himself and the woman he had just kissed against her will, praying she wouldn't slap him.

For a long moment neither of them spoke. Finally, Severus broke the silence.

"I'm so sorry Hermione. I don't know why I did that, I apologize" Actually he didn't, he wanted nothing more than to do it again, and he knew exactly why she did it. But she didn't want him. He was old, and a Death Eater, she left him for a reason. She was probably madly in love with some other man, it had been ten years. For all he knew she had children.

"Oh," she looked disappointed, "I'm sorry if I caused you any discomfort. I should leave now. It's late, your wife will probably be home very soon I would imagine." She needed to get out, this hurt too badly for her to handle. She had pushed back every memory the two of them had ever made and now all that was ruined.

"She is NOT my wife." Hermione could tell he was definitely drunk. And as he walked to the freezer and poured himself another glass of tequila she knew it wasn't going to get any better. "Stop calling her my wife," She hadn't heard this tone in years. His voice sounded so poisonous. She knew he took marriage seriously but they were getting married in a month, why did it matter if she said fiancé or wife?

As he drank the first two glasses he poured for himself and then downed half of a third glass they both stood there. Neither had any idea what to say.

She felt awkward about being kissed by a practically married man. She knew she needed to leave, because he was drunk, and didn't mean anything he was saying.

He couldn't stand being in the same room as her, because anything he did was going to be inappropriate. She left him, she was probably happily in a relationship with another man. He knew that had to be true, she was perfect. She was without a doubt in a long term relationship. He knew she had to have kids, it was why she left.

"And what 'bout yourself Ms. Granger," He was getting more intoxicated by the minute and was loosing all composure he had previously tried to possessed.

"I'm sure your man is waiting for you to come home, and it isn't becoming of a mother to be out at all hours of the night." He was sick of being polite, she needed to leave his house, he was having an impossible time controlling his urge for her. He could feel he was getting aggressive with every drink, he just didn't give a damn.

"What?" She looked confused, and also a little upset, she looked down at her stomach and he could swear he saw a tear in her eye.

"I don't have children Sev, I don't have a man at home, and why the hell are you calling me Ms. Granger?" She didn't even know what to say or do, she sighed and starting walking towards the door.

"I'll be leaving now I guess, I'm sorry for the intrusion, Congratulations." And she started to walk towards the door.


	13. Picture: Part One

A/N: I'm loving the reviews! To those of you consistently reviewing every week THANK YOU! To those of you who haven't put in a review yet, please do! They really make my whole day!

* * *

**August 2010**

"Ginny, we have to do something. This is absurd!"

"Harry, what do you propose we do? Go slamming on his door and throw a temper tantrum because he didn't show up to a birthday party? You realize how insane that is?"

"You know very well this is unhealthy. They broke up, it was a joint decision. We haven't seen or heard ANYTHING from him since about a week after she left Spinners End. For all we know he's died."

"Love, I know you're worried. I am too, but I really don't think there is anything more we can do"

Ginny and Harry had been having the same argument for over a month. No one had been in contact with Severus since Hermione left. Harry had been calling, and sending owls inviting him to dinner, and dropping by his home occasionally with no luck. Ginny was concerned as well but she wasn't as close to Severus was, slowly, but surely, after the war Harry and Severus had formed a very close bond and although Hermione was his friend first he was pissed off that Severus thought this meant they no longer had a relationship.

"He's Lily's godfather. This is ridiculous, and Ginny," he said her name with more attitude than he knew he should, "We really haven't done anything. This has gone on long enough. Do you mind me stepping out for a bit? I'll be back for dinner and to put the kids to bed?"

Ginny sighed, she thought this was totally pointless but knew her husband wasn't going to give up.

"Yeah, sure, that's fine. But Harry love, don't do anything crazy alright. Stop by the house, but don't make this a manhunt."

"Thanks love," He hadn't heard anything she said after yeah, he apparated on the spot and found himself on Spinners End. Thankfully no one was around, he had been so caught up in finding Severus to show up behind a tree or something of the likes. It was 10 am and broad daylight on a Monday so had anyone been looking they would have seen him for sure.

He walked down the block and stormed down the driveway. He wasn't going to have any more of this. He noticed none of the lights were on and there was no noise coming from the house. He knocked politely a few times, When he got no response he tried again. Slamming a little harder this time. He waited a full minute, and tried one last time, he knew it was no good. He could tell no one was home when he got there, he was just being hopeful.

Harry stood there for a moment or two contemplating his next moves. He started to poke around the exterior of the house. He knew he had no chance of getting into the home if Severus didn't want him there, he was a former Death Eater and an Order member, it would be pointless to try. But, his shed, Harry thought, was another matter. He knew he never stored anything important in it anyways, it would be no problem to break into.

A few choice spell words later and Harry was in the middle of a very tiny shed. Nothing looked unusual, some old muggle appliances that had probably been there since he was a child, and some trash bins. Harry walked over flipping the lid to the recycling bin, not really sure what he was looking for.

What he found was an obscene number of liquor and wine bottles, he would have been concerned but he knew Severus was never into drinking. And the wine bottles were all what Hermione drank, he just assumed Severus hadn't taken it to the curb yet because it wasn't full.

With no direction of what to do Harry then flipped over the garbage can lid, nothing important. Just bags, until Harry looked a little bit closer and saw a napkin from a muggle hotel bar, with a name and number on it.

He grabbed it and closed up the shed, being sure to secure it as it had been before his intrusion. He thought of the place he was headed and closed his eyes to apparate, this time being more cautious to make sure he was going to land out of site.

Seconds later he appeared outside the building and walked in, the polite older woman at the front desk directed him to the bar and there Harry sat to scout things out for a moment. He had no idea what he was doing, she he had tracked down evil wizards before but tailing a man and giving him shit for overreacting was new to him.

At this time of day Harry didn't know what to expect, but he knew sitting in this bar wasn't going to work. Standing up he headed towards the front desk again. He tried to lay on the charm as thick as he could when he started asking the lady at the front desk about how busy it is this time of day. He poked around asking about the types of people who come in, couples or single people, did people bring there children. Was there ever any dodgey looking blokes that would make his wife uncomfortable if the stayed here for a night.

She was more than happy to have someone to talk to, Harry realized she probably didn't get a lot of socializing with this job. Finally he got what he came here for. She said there was one bloke who had been coming for the past few months, he never said anything to her, except to get his room key and he always wore hideous black robes. She said he didn't seem to frightening, but his actions were without a doubt questionable.

"He has such dark hair, he wears black head to toe, everything about him seems so dangerous."

That was all Harry needed to know it was Severus, "And, does he stay here often." He asked with a smile in his eyes

"I was thinking about bringing my wife here next month for our anniversary, but if he's right in the middle of the hotel, I wouldn't want her to be uncomfortable." He was thinking there was a fat chance in hell that he would get his room number like this but it was worth a shot.

"Actually, He always stays in the last room on the top floor. The first time he checked in he wanted a room without windows and that's the only one without them. He refuses to stay anywhere but there. So really, if you and your wife came you probably wouldn't even see him" She was trying to make a sale, and flirt with him, simultaneously

"How does he ensure he always gets that room though?"

"He has it reserved and payed for a month at time. The last day of every month he reserves it for the following month. I don't know what he's up to, but I've never seen anyone who looks like a drug dealer come towards his room before so I couldn't care less."

Harry thanked her and headed out the door to make it look like he was leaving. When he noticed her step into the back he tailed it to the stairs and got to the top floor in record time.


	14. Picture: Part Two

A/N: I hope people didn't mind that neither of our favourite people where in the last one. This one Severus is back, so no throwing stones at me for being "off topic" It was needed.

* * *

**August 2010**

_Knock Knock Knock_

He didn't get a response. But he knew Severus was in there. He couldn't hear anything, not even a fan running so he was sure that he was inside and had placed a silencing spell on the room. He had no idea what he was going to find on the other side of the door, but knew he wasn't going to just stand here and wait. He didn't know if there would be enchantments on it, but seriously doubted it as Severus didn't think anyone would be able to locate him.

Harry pulled out his wand, said a few words and pushed through the door like it was nothing.

It took Harry's eyes a second to adjust how pitch black it was in the room. There was an entranceway and a bathroom to his left. And another door in front of him. Once he closed the first door he could see next to nothing, the only light he had was the small crack beneath the door he had just closed. However, now that he was within the protection of the silencing charm he could, unfortunately, hear everything.

The cheap hotel bed slamming against the wall, the grunts of a man he could tell was older, and the loud raspy moans of a woman. Harry wasn't sure what to do, but as awkward as this was he knew it had to be Severus in there.

"Severus, I know you're in there. I'm not going away. And this would be easier for everyone if you willingly talked to me!" The noise stopped.

"What the fuck?" He heard the woman say, and was grateful when he didn't recognize her voice. Harry stepped into the room and saw a thin, very trashy looking woman wrapped in a sheet sitting on the edge of the bed. And Severus chest exposed, leaning against the bed's headboard.

"Get out," His tone was flat.

"Severus, this is ridiculous. Please talk to me."

"I was talking to her," she looked upset, and very confused.

She started to throw a shirt on with the sheet still wrapped around her. She looked at him like he was crazy, "I don't do refunds. You know that, so if thats how you want it. See you at our usual time next week?"

He nodded and watched her walk out, Harry flipped on a light and tossed Severus his running shorts laying on the floor.

"So you pay for sex," he looked briefly around the room, and found a pile of liquor bottles on a table that matched the one in his shed, he realized they were his. "And your drinking, excessively. He also noticed a half empty bottle on his nightstand, the cover off with a glass beside it.

"Are you here to lecture me Harry? Or is Ginny not dishing out at home, I could get you my girls number?" He smiled briefly and took another glass of whiskey.

"You're an ass when you drink apparently. Is this a new thing of yours? I've never seen you drink ever."

"Yes, I've been drinking. Excessively, but why the hell not. I have no where to be and no one to go home to. How was Lily's birthday party?" He asked, obviously trying to change the subject.

"So my owl hasn't gotten confused in old age, good. Where were you? I assumed you'd forgotten"

"I've been at everyone of her germ infested birthday parties for the past seven years. And I spent eleven hours at the hospital keeping Hermione company seven years ago. I clearly remember she said, when we have kids at least 30 times. Hmmph," He scoffed as he downed another shot of whiskey. "What did you want me to do, show up and make small talk with her,"

"Hermione was expecting you. It's not going to be that weird." He flinched when Harry said her name, and kept on drinking. Harry didn't know how much he had drank been drinking, but he knew he needed to stop and had no idea how to make him. "How long have you been doing this? The girls, and the drinking. Drugs?"

"Nothing I haven't made myself. So on the brightside," he smirked and downed some more whiskey, "I wont get poisoned. On second thought, maybe I should start buying them for amateurs though."

"Severus. What the fuck? This was mutual. You two casually discussed splitting up over coffee one morning. You helped her move out. Why are you loosing it? She's hurt too but this is ridiculous. You're going to drink yourself to death." Harry couldn't stand how unfazed Severus was by that thought.

"You know Harry, this was not mutual. She refused to marry me, that makes HER the one that ended this."

"Severus, you know there is more to it that that."

Harry was at an absolute loss, he didn't know how to force a grown ass man to stop doing drugs, and drinking, and sleeping with prostitutes.

"Severus, please. Hermione would be devastated if she knew what you were doing. You two didn't end on nasty terms. You can be around her without it being weird. And the girls miss you. You don't have to do birthday parties, and group functions. I understand, but please stop by the house? You're their godfather Severus, they miss you."

Severus was so in love with his three goddaughters that Harry knew this would get him, he didn't love all children, but he always had a soft spot for them. He sat in the hospital waiting for each of them to make their appearance into this world and he had loved them endlessly ever since.

"Be at our house, for lunch? Saturday at 11?" Harry asked really hoping that Severus would snap out of this soon.

"Yeah, I'll be there."

"Sober!" Harry didn't think he would be stupid enough to show up around the girls in the state he was currently in, but he never thought he would watch one of his best friend throw a prostitute out of his hotel room, and then proceed to get blackout drunk.

"Of course Harry, and please don't tell her what's going on. I don't want her to worry, not that she would, but please, don't say anything."

Harry walked out, realizing that this was as good as he was going to get out of Severus today. He walked out, as Severus did another shot of whiskey and drank a couple of small unmarked potion bottle within moments.


	15. Alive With the Glory Of Love

A/N: Again theres no Hermione/Severus interaction. I promise the next two chapters will be really good ones, and after that you'll get more interaction from our favourite couple!

* * *

**May 2010**

"Mione, what the bloody hell is taking so long? I'm headed to The Burrow in five minutes with or without you!"

He had grown up in a full house, but not a full house of women. He had no clue how it took Hermione so long to get ready to walk out of the house. She had been living in his small flat for a month, thankfully there was an extra bedroom so Hermione wasn't sleeping on a couch every night.

They had fallen into a comfortable pattern and living with each other was proving to be easier than they would have guessed. They didn't bicker like they did when they dated, and the flat ran smoothly. Hermione wasn't helping with rent, and she didn't have a job at the moment, so she took care of all the household work.

She did the dishes and laundry, she did all the grocery shopping and made dinner almost every day. She had never been one to sit around and be a homemaker, but she found it was really nice not having to rush out the door every morning. And Ron realized how much he was appreciating having dinner made when he got home, and how much he loved sitting on the couch with Hermione and drinking a beer.

"I'm coming Ron, five more minutes." He rolled his eyes and walked to the fridge to grab a beer. They were headed to his parents house for lunch, Molly loved Hermione living with Ron because she knew Ron wasn't living in a pile of laundry and dishes all the time, and she got to see her on a very frequent basis now. Unfortunately she kept dropping awkward hints about what she thought about their new living arrangements.

Ron, was standing at the kitchen bar when Hermione finally walked into the kitchen, ready to floo to The Burrow. Ron looked up and hated that the first thing he noticed was how perfect she looked. Ron was sure he was imagining it but every day she looked better and better. Her skin was flawless, she looked like she had gotten thinner since moving in with him, and her boobs were huge!

Standing in the kitchen she looked over at Ron, happy that it wasn't awkward that they were living together.

"Ready?" She walked to the fridge grabbed a bootle of water and started heading towards the fireplace. Without her seeing, he watched her ass every step of the way.

"Yes, coming." He downed the rest of his beer and headed to the fireplace.

Later at The Burrow while Ron was out playing Quidditch with his brothers and Ginny, Hermione hung out in the kitchen with Molly.

"So, how are you doing dear? How's Ron been? He isn't taking advantage of your cooking and cleaning is he?"

"Not at all, I'm just glad that for the time being I don't have to work. It's been a rough month." Other than the first day she was separated from Severus, she made it a rule to only think about it at night. She'd spent every single night crying herself to sleep, but she wasn't about to let anyone else know that.

"You know," She said with a smirk on her face while making the salad, "I stopped going to work long before I got pregnant, and it was so nice to be able to stay home and make dinner for Arthur every night. We decided after about a week that I wasn't going to go back to work at all."

"You're a great homemaker Molly, but at some point I'm going to have to get a job and move out of your sons house." Molly had been throwing hints about them getting back together for weeks.

"Well, dear, you wouldn't have to. I know he still fancies you. You two seem to be getting along great. Maybe you just needed some time to grow up before being together." Nothing would make Molly happier than seeing her son happily married to Hermione with several children.

"Molly, we didn't fit as a couple. We're working so well now because we both know it's only temporary. And Ronald hasn't show any signs that he fancies me still. He'll find someone perfect soon I'm sure."

"And what about you Dear?" She had a concerned look on her face.

"I'll be fine. I'm not ready to be with anyone just yet. Maybe someday I'll find someone." Even as she said it she knew she was lying to herself. She wanted children, but after leaving Severus she realized she didn't just want children. She wanted his children. And she quickly realized getting married wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world. But, they were over.

She enjoyed the rest of the day surrounded by her "family" but was very relieved when it was time to say goodbye. It was too hard, being around happily married couples, it made her want to curl up in bed and sob.

She was standing in her bedroom, slipping of her high heels and taking off her earing when Ronald slowly knocked a couple times on her door.

"It's open." She turned around to see Ron standing at her doorway. She gave him a sweet smile, "Thank you for letting me stay here Ron, I'm going to start looking for a new job next week, I just needed some time."

"You can stay as long as you like Hermione, I'm sort of enjoying you being here." He would be perfectly happy if she never chose to leave.

"Thank you, it has been nice hanging out. We haven't seen each other in so long." Ron was walking over to her as she began pulling out the bobby pins holding her bun up. He got to her side just as her hair fell down on her shoulders.

She was perfect, "Hermione?" he said leaning in to her a bit

"Yeah?" She hadn't noticed how close he was because she was preoccupied taking off her necklace.

She finally looked over and noticed him inches from her body. She started to take a step back when he wrapped his arm around her back and pulled her into him.

"I want you," he whispered into her ear before pulling her face to his and kissing her firmly on the lips. He could feel her fighting it, but didn't register that he should stop. Finally he broke free from her lips and started kissing her neck. Starting underneath her ear and trailing down to her collarbone. At the same time her was sliding his hand down her back, slipping one of them in her back pocket and trying to slid the other down the back of her pants.

She used all of her strength to try and push him backwards, "Ronald, what the hell?"

He continued for just a second more before looking up at her. He had convinced himself that she would want him to. They had been living as a married couple for almost two months and he was sure she was attracted to him. When he saw the look on her face he realized how wrong he had been. He let go and stepped backwards.

"I'm so sorry 'Mione. I thought..." He trailed off, what was he going to say? He thought she loved him and would marry him, stay with him forever, and have his children. In hindsight he realized how foolish he had been.

"It's alright, but I just don't have feelings for you Ronald. I thought you knew that." She thought back on the past few weeks, trying to decide if she had done anything to lead him to believe otherwise. She couldn't think of anything, but they had been living like a married couple.

Ronald quickly turned around and walked out of her room. He prayed that this wasn't going to make things too awkward.


	16. After Midnight

A/N: You were going to get another couple chapters with no interaction between Severus & Hermione but I decided you would want to see some interaction so here you go.

**August 26th, 2000**

As she sat in the bed she had no idea what she should do. The very last thing she remembered was drinking with George. Suddenly she was sick to her stomach thinking about what the hell she had done. She thought, really hard, but she couldn't remember seeing anyone other than him. She knew there was a very good chance she was at The Burrow. She hadn't seen every room in the house before, and she couldn't think of anyone else's bed she could be in. And based on how sore all of her muscles were, she must have done more than sleep last night.

Horror began to wash over her as she realize what she had done, loosing her virginity, while black out drunk, to someone she saw as family. She felt like she was going to throw up. The more she looked around she noticed a glass of water on the end stand she quickly drank it and stood up to more thoroughly check out her surroundings. She considered opening the curtains but knew, due to her massive hangover, that that would be painful. She realized the mans shirt was practically a dress on her. Knowing she couldn't stay in this room forever she put on her thong and buttoned up the remaining buttons on the shirt.

Deciding she could put off the awkwardness that was about the ensue for just a bit longer she strolled around the room once more. There was several books on the other night stand. A few Hermione knew she had on her own nightstand at home, and a couple others she had been meaning to pick up. She smiled realizing that there was apparently a whole other side of him she never knew.

Finally she braced herself and opened the door, for almost a second she felt relief. She wasn't standing in the hallway of The Burrow, followed by immense fear, because she had no clue where she was. She knew it must be the home of someone she knew because no one at The Burrow would have let her leave with a total stranger while she was drunk. She took a deep breath and walked down the stairs, unsure of who she would find.

At the bottom of the stairs she saw a door left open leading to a bathroom. She stepped inside and looked in the mirror. She used the bathroom, and splashed some cold water on her face. She was still dreading finding out who she spent her first time with, so to kill sometime she opened the medicine cabinet. She thanked Merlin there wasn't a single female product in it, at least he wasn't married or dating. She took the liberty of using his toothbrush, they had spent all night having sex, she didn't figure some spit would matter. After she felt confident that she looked as decent as she could she stepped out of the bathroom and heard a song playing on the radio. She headed towards it realizing it was her best bet at finding her mystery man.

As she got closer to the song, she also smelled food. Thankfully it wasn't eggs, she knew how she felt about eggs after drinking. As she turned the corner into the kitchen she closed her eyes and held her breath.

He didn't notice she had even came downstairs, he figured it would be hours before she woke up, based on how intoxicated she was the night before. He had no idea how she got so drunk. He was sure she wasn't that intoxicated the last time he saw her.

She finally braced herself and opened her eyes, and standing in front of her, back turned and facing the stove singing under his breath to the song on the muggle radio, cooking bacon was a very tall, shirtless, old potions professor.

She didn't know what to do, or say, so she just stood there. Unsure if she wanted him to turn around or not. However that decision was made for her as he turned to get orange juice out of the fridge. He looked up at her and gave a kind smile,

"Good Morning, I hope I didn't wake you, I figured it would be hours until you woke up. Based on how you looked last night." He grabbed two glasses from the cupboard and went about cooking.

She was shocked, they just had sex, slept the night in the same bed and he was standing there casually cooking and making small talk, he continued singing along to the radio. He turned and put on the white tee shirt that was sitting on the counter next to him. As he did Hermione got her first full view of his chest, and was mildly surprised to see how fit he was. He had a very solid, very perfect set of six pack abs.

He looked at her just in time to see her staring at his abs and biting her lip. He couldn't help but smile.

"So, I have to ask Hermione. How were you suddenly that drunk. When you walked into The Burrow you looked okay, you came back out about 20 minutes later and were so drunk you could barley walk. What the hell happened? Did the alcohol catch up with you?" He didn't sound judgmental. Hermione was still trying to piece together what happened, and mentally noted that apparently she got back outside to the reception.

"Um," She didn't want to admit what had happened, but she also didn't want him to think she was that drunk just off the wine she drank, "When I was inside I ran into George Weasley. And had a little bit to drink with him."

"Whats "a little"?" Now he sounded a little pissed off.

"I don't really remember, a third of a bottle of vodka." She said casually as she took a sip of the orange juice he handed her. "We didn't really bother with glasses, he had a full bottle, we split it, and by the time I went back to the wedding it was empty. I don't think he drank very much of it at all."

"What the FUCK? Do you have a death wish Miss Granger? You could have died. You are way to thin to drink all that and eat... What did you even eat yesterday?"

"The crackers you handed me, and a cup of coffee for breakfast. Professor Snape." She bit back not fond of being referred to like a child.

Severus had been taking the bacon off the frying pan and putting it on a plate. He was getting ready to put the pan in the sink when he took in what she had just said. She drank over a dozen glasses of wine and drank a bottle of vodka, without eating anything. She jumped a little as he threw the frying pan into the sink with an unnecessary amount of force, and he gave her a look she hadn't seen since she had been her student.

"Well it worked out for you, so you can't be too upset." At this point she was just pissed he took advantage of her last night and was now going to give her a hard time about how much she drank. He had to be kidding.

"At least tell me you thought to use protection."

"What?" He looked baffled at everything she had just said.

"Last night, when I was shit faced drunk. And you decided to bring me to your house and take advantage of me. You know, when you put me to bed and decided, without my consent, to force me to loose my virginity. That time, did you at least ensure I wouldn't get pregnant!" At this point she had stood up from her seat and was more than a little pissed off.

He looked like he was totally lost. "What are you talking about Hermione, do you remember ANYTHING that happened last night?"

"Well, I know I woke up in your bed, wearing only your shirt, sore from head to toe."

He laughed, she couldn't believe he had the bloody nerve to laugh at her.

"Hermione, nothing happened last night." He smiled and offered her a plate with bacon and a couple pancakes on it.

"Then why am I so sore?" She wasn't sure she believed him.

"You fell down my stairs, twice. Trust me, you would know if you lost your virginity. You would be sore in VERY different places," He paused, "Your really a virgin?"

"Yes, I am, sorry if you find that amusing" She ate her breakfast, horribly embarrassed.

"It's not that I think it's funny, I'm just surprised. You were coming on to me, a lot, last night. Based on the things you said, and how you threw yourself at me..." He trailed off, "I just assumed.

"I was trying to get you to sleep with me?

"Yeah, relentlessly. After I got you to bed you came looking for me, which is when you fell down the stairs. Finally I force fed you a sleeping draught so you would stop hurting yourself."

She didn't know what to make of this,

"Where did you sleep then?" She wished she could remember last night.

"On the couch,"

"Why?"

"I wasn't sure I could handle sleeping next to you wearing nothing but my shirt. I did everything in my power last night to be a gentleman, but had I tried to fall asleep with you saying the things you said to me last night..." he looked like he wasn't sure if he should be admitting so much, "Let's just say I didn't have the willpower to fall asleep next to you."

He kept casually eating his breakfast, but she had so many more questions.

"Why wasn't I wearing underwear?"

"That was all you Hermione."

"I'm wearing YOUR shirt? I found that on my own too?" She was definitely accusing him of foul play.

"Yes, I did help you get undressed. The dress you were wearing looked awfully uncomfortable. So once I carried you up the stairs I took of your jewelry, and your shoes. Then I found one of my shirts and helped you get undressed and put it on. I left your underwear on, and honestly, I didn't look as I was helping you get into my shirt." She could tell he was being honest.

"The second time you came to find me you stood in the middle of my living room and took off your underwear in front of me. So I carried you back upstairs and drugged you to get you to pass out."

Hermione couldn't believe what an amazing person he was, any other guy would have really taken advantage of her. He was a perfect gentleman. He cared for her, and slept on the couch to make sure nothing happened. It was in that moment she realized she had a great big crush on Severus Snape


	17. You're Gonna Be

A/N: You probably already figured this out but I'm taking a bit of creative liberty on a few things. Like Harry and Ginny having 3 girls instead of what the book actually says. I may do that with some other things but i'll try to make sure it's very clear what I'm changing

* * *

**June 13th, 2010**

She pushed one of the boxes in the middle of the bedroom aside. She had been living in her own flat since the first and still hadn't unpacked everything, which wouldn't be a big deal, but she still had no job either.

After Ronald kissed her in his flat last month she realized she needed to get her own place. Things weren't awkward between her and him, but she knew it was time to get out and start her life. So she packed up the few things she had taken out at Ron's and found a place of her own. She had plenty of money in savings so she used that to get into a flat and started searching for a job.

She spent countless hours looking for a job in the wizarding world before she decided she wanted to be in the muggle world anyways. People there didn't know she had been in the war. They didn't care that her best friend was Harry Potter, but most importantly she knew that in the muggle world she wouldn't run into him.

At first she had been okay with the idea of casually seeing him out and about but the longer she thought about it the more it hurt. She knew she wasn't going to be able to handle seeing him with another woman someday, and she found it was a lot easier to get rid of his memory completely than to remember him and feel the pain she felt.

She found a job to substitute teach on a long term basis at a muggle school nearby so she applied. She worked with Minerva to get a letter of recommendation and proof that she worked at Hogwarts, it proved a bit troublesome because they had to essentially manufacture a fake school. But Hermione had been an excellent teacher for five years so Minerva was more than happy to help her. Hermione was thrilled when she got the job.

She moved a few boxes around to lay on her bed, she had been so exhausted all the time lately, and couldn't figure out why for the life of her. She assumed it must be because of the sleep she hadn't been getting for the past month. But every single day around the same time she felt like she needed a nap and she was going to bed before nine pm every night. She laid down in bed, pulling her blankets up around her. In no time she fell asleep.

When she woke up she lay there for a while thinking, but feeling a little sick to her stomach she decided to get up and make something to eat, then do some unpacking. She poked through the refrigerator, and while her pasta was cooking she headed to her bathroom to unpack. She was never one of those people who had ten different kinds of shampoos, she was very simple. The basic hair products, her toothbrush, floss, then she pulled out an unopened box of tampons and placed them under the sink and went back to check on her noodles. She turned them off and began to drain them when she started thinking. Why the fuck did she have an UNOPENED box of tampons? She had bought them the day she left Spinners End with her shampoo and body wash and such. She mentally did the math. It had been two and a half months, and she hadn't had a period.

With this she started to panic. She had never had this happen before, she got one every month, on the same day, just like clockwork. She grabbed a couple muggle pounds and apparated to the nearest gas station. Her noodles lay forgotten in the sink.

When she got back she was sitting on the edge of the tub, waiting for the three minutes to be up so she could read the test. Her mind reeling faster than it had ever done before, her and Severus were always so careful. As much as Hermione wanted a baby she wanted it to be a mutual decision so every day she took her potion, and every time they made love they preformed the needed spells. Every single time... Except their last time she realized. Mentally berating herself for being so careless she picked up the test and saw two pink lines, she was pregnant. She was carrying his child, the child she had begged for for years. The one he made very clear he didn't want, especially out of wedlock.

She was at an absolute loss of what to do, but from the second she saw the second pink line that she was so in love with her baby. Even if he wanted nothing to do with it, when he wanted nothing to do with it she corrected herself, she would raise this baby and love it. She would make sure that her love made up for not having a father in it's life.

She was much calmer than she probably should have been, she took a deep breath and realized this was going to be alright. However she didn't have much time to deal with her emotions before she heard a slight pop, and heard Harry hollering her name. She took a deep breath and walked out to the living room.

"Hey Hermione, whats up?" Harry started heading toward to kitchen to grab something to drink, "You know you have cold noodles in your sink right?" He looked over at her and saw a look on her face that he didn't understand.

"Yeah, I was cooking, and then I thought of something and had to step out for a minute."

"Harry," She paused. She knew she had to tell him, she just wasn't sure how to say it. She took a deep breath and looked into the eyes of her best friend, "I'm pregnant."

For a moment neither of them said a word. Finally Harry realized what she had just said and walked up and wrapped her in a hug.

"Whose?" He didn't want to sound judgmental but he needed to know

"It's his." She hadn't been able to say his name yet.

"You're going to have to tell him 'Mione, you know that right."

"Yes, I do. But it doesn't matter, I've thought about it, and we don't need him. He didn't want children and especially not without a marriage, so I will tell him to be polite but I'll be fine when he chooses to not be a part of our daughters life." She knew there was no way of knowing yet if it was a boy or a girl, but deep in her soul she knew it was a little girl.

"He might want to be in the child's life Hermione, you two could work it out." Harry couldn't stand seeing his best friend hurt and hoped for her sake that he was right.

"Do you want me to go with you when you tell him?"

"I'm not going to do it right away Harry, I need some time to get used to it myself."

"I understand, let me know if you want my help."

"Harry, I can't contact him. Could you work it out so we would both be at your house at the same time. I just can't bring myself to owl him."

"Of course, we're planning a small barbecue the beginning of July anyways. What if I get him to show up early and you can as well."

"Thank you Harry."

They chatted for a few more moments before Harry took leave to give Hermione some space.

She knew logically that she shouldn't be but she was so happy to become a mother, even given the circumstances. She began to cry a little, thinking about meeting her baby girl and spent the rest of the evening day dreaming about how great it would be to be a mother. And thanking Merlin that she had rented a two bedroom flat, even though it was just her.


	18. Jolene

A/N: It's been so long I'm sorry! I've been having a VERY hard time writing lately. Please review and let me know how my first chapter in a while is.

* * *

**June 2020**

Hermione sat in the small cafe fidgeting in her seat. She wasn't sure if she should have agreed to this, and even though she had she still sat there looking around, thinking maybe she should run before her lunch date had a chance to get here. She sighed, shaking her head again, she didn't know what she was doing but she knew there was no turning back now as she saw the mess of red hair walk through the door. She had never met her, the only thing she had for reference was the one photo she had seen on the fridge two months ago. But that was all she needed, that image was so burned into her mind that it didn't matter that she'd only seen it once.

"You must be Elizabeth?" Hermione didn't know what was about to happen, but logically she couldn't hate this woman. In her heart she was dying, but she knew it wasn't her fault. If anything Hermione should be apologizing for her sudden appearance into the woman's life.

"Hi," She exhaled loudly, she didn't even know why she was here, but she knew she needed to talk to her.

"We haven't properly been introduced before. I'm..." Hermione started to say before she was cut off.

"I know who you are. How could I not?"

"Um, do you want coffee or tea." Hermione offered, "I've been here for a while so I'm all set, but if you want a second to go grab something."

"I'm alright, I appreciate what you're trying to do. But I would really rather just get to the point." Hermione was now more than nervous, as engraved as that photo was in her mind she wasn't prepared for how perfect the woman would be in real life. She had a perfect figure, despite being ten years older than Hermione. Her skin was flawless, and her hair was a perfect shade of red throughout and her green eyes were perfect. Hermione laughed to herself realizing that of course this is the woman Severus would be in love with. She had been insecure throughout their relationship, frequently thinking that he was still in love with Lily, but he always shut her down and sounded so confident that she believed him, she should have known.

"Sure, but I have to be honest, I'm not really sure what 'the point' is? What can I do for you Elizabeth?" Hermione didn't know what he had told her, and didn't want to throw him under the bus by revealing more than he had.

"Please, don't be that way. You must know why I'm here Hermione."

"Honestly, not really. I stopped by your house a couple months ago to wish you and Severus well. It was raining so I went inside to talk for a while, but I haven't spoken to him since. And when I was there I certainly expressed how happy for you I was."

"Please," The red heads eyes bore into Hermione, pleading her to listen, "I love him Hermione. I understand that you two have history, but please."

"I really do not understand, I know the two of you are in love. There is no doubt about that. Theres no longer anything between he and I"

"Hermione, please, just don't take him. I know you can, it would be oh so simple, but please."

"Elizabeth, I have no intention on 'taking' him. I would never try to do that." At this point she was just lost. As if she could have him anyways, he was over her.

"Really? He used to call out your name in his sleep. Regularly, and then after a while he stopped. I thought he had fallen in love with me, looking back I realize he started taking a Dreamless Sleep Draught. And I didn't mind, I was so sick of hearing your name by that point. Then right after I got back from researching it started again. We were suppose to get married THIS AUGUST Hermione. How could you?"

"I really am sorry, but I have no clue what you're talking about." She wished she knew what this woman wanted. She was a little taken aback that supposedly Severus had been talking about her while he slept, but she had a hard time believing that.

"Hermione, you are young, you could have any man you wanted. Please, don't choose Severus. He's all I have." At this point she was getting frustrated.

"Look, Elizabeth. I'm trying to be polite, and I apologize for stopping by your home the other night but I don't have any plans to try to win Severus over, and honestly, even if I wanted him, I couldn't have him anyways." She was trying not to cry at this point. "He broke up with me Elizabeth. He didn't want me anymore, I don't know why you feel so insecure."

"You don't know?" The red head looked confused, she was torn, on one hand she felt that Hermione must know how he felt, on the other hand she didn't want to enlighten her. Severus was hers and she didn't want him to be taken away.

"Know what? This is getting ridiculous." Hermione was just exasperated at this point.

"_He_ didn't break up with _you_ Hermione, you broke up with him. He still loves you, he never stopped loving you. I shouldn't even be telling you this, but you must already know anyways. I'm just begging you, please, leave him alone"

Hermione didn't know if she should believe her, it didn't seem very realistic. Severus wanted to get married, thats why he asked her to leave. She couldn't be with him even though she wanted to. When he kissed her the other day it was simply because he was drunk, nothing this woman was saying made any sense Hermione knew that she must be lying, or simply delusional.

"That's absurd, and I'm sorry, but I really need to be going." Hermione didn't know what to say or do, but she knew she had to leave. It was too hard to be with the person that was sleeping with the man she loved.

She stood up and slowly walked out, thinking about everything she had said. Trying to decide why she thought that Hermione had ended the relationship, it must be thats what he told people to make himself not look like a bad person. However Hermione couldn't figure out why she thought he was still in love with her. She didn't even know how to respond to that. When she was in the comfort of her own flat she really started thinking about it, she was sick of being in the dark and decided that perhaps she should simply confront Severus about it. He had no reason to lie about anything, that would clear everything up and Hermione could move on with her life.


	19. Glitter in the Air

A/N: This honestly isn't the best I could have done, stick with it and read the AN at the end for some explaination. Also the song was requested by Kclarey85. She had suggested I use it for a different theme but as soon as she said it I knew it was the song I wanted to use for this chapter!

* * *

**July 3rd, 2010**

She sat in her room sobbing, she wasn't ready to see him, and she wasn't ready to tell him. Part of her tried to reason that he didn't have to know, he didn't want children, she had no intention of begging him for help. Why did she have to tell him at all? But she knew Harry was right, she knew he had the right to know, even if he wasn't going to give a damn.

She had decided she didn't want a magically influenced pregnancy. She wanted regular doctors appointments and she wanted to give birth in a regular hospital, she was already ten into her pregnancy she went to a Muggle OBGYN. Everything was fine, and they scheduled an appointment for four weeks later.

Harry couldn't understand why Hermione refused to go to St. Mungos, he tried to convince her it made more sense. Her baby was going to be magical, it was insane to try and have a muggle pregnancy. However he had noticed her slowly pulling away from magic all together. She refused to get a job in the wizarding world, insisting that it was too hard being Harry Potter's best friend all the time. Then she got a flat in an entirely muggle community. It was like she got sick of being a witch and gave up.

Hermione spent all day cleaning the house to distract her. She had felt awful lately and although she wanted nothing more than to lay down and sleep she knew it would be too easy to lay in bed and worry if she did that. So she started on one end of the house and worked her way to the other, cleaning everything from top to bottom without magic.

Around lunchtime she took a break to make something to eat. She stood in the kitchen, making a grilled cheese, and like most days, talked to her baby. Being that her child technically didn't have ears yet she only did this in the privacy of her home, and never when other people where around. Finally after eating and having the entire house cleaned she realized she wasn't going to start to feel better anytime soon, her stomach ached awfully so she went to lay down in bed.

Praying the cramps would subside so she could finish preparing herself for tomorrow she was glad that she fell asleep quickly once she laid down. Three days ago she spent all day in pain before calling her doctors but they insisted it was normal and told her not to worry.

When she got up from her nap she still felt just as bad, if not worse, so she drew herself a bath. While waiting she pilled her hair on top of her head and took stock of her reflection in the mirror. She had without a doubt put on a bit of weight, she had never owned a scale, so she couldn't say how much but she knew she had. Stripping down to her tank top and underwear she was glad that she didn't frequently wear tight clothing, you could see a very slight baby bump. Anyone who didn't know would just think she had gotten fat, but she knew.

She shut off the water and put her towel next to the tub, and quickly turned to relieve herself before stepping into the bath, when she found a faint hint of pink on her toilet paper she tried hard not to panic. She had been told that a mild amount of spotting was normal. Logically she knew it would be fine, but in her heart something felt wrong. She grabbed the phone while stepping into the bath. At this point her lower abdomen hurt so bad it took all of her strength not to lay on the floor doubled over, so as she sank into the bath she telephoned her doctor and explained what was going on.

She was told it wasn't a big deal and not to worry, there was nothing they could do regardless and she needed to just relax and know that everything was fine. She mulled over her thoughts in the bath, praying for her baby and sobbing because she knew something just wasn't right.

By the time she went to bed that night she had had a miscarriage. She fell asleep knowing that her only chance to have Severus' child was gone, and she knew she would never want anyone else's. She laid there all night, sobbing into her pillow, cursing herself for everything she had done wrong during her pregnancy. The glass of wine she had drank before she knew, and every time she had eaten a less than healthy diet.

Harry had come over as soon as Hermione sent him a patronus to let him know what happened. Neither of them said anything, he just laid there in bed next to her, wishing he could do something to comfort his best friend.

They both fell asleep, thinking that had this happened one day later she would have had to explained it to Severus as well. She had planned to tell him at Harrys house the next day.

* * *

A/N: So this chapter was perfectly predicted by Astarte-lydianna. I know it may have been a bit predictable but I've been thinking about this chapter since I wrote the very first chapter. I personally went through a miscarriage this October right before I got pregnant for a second time with my baby girl. Writing this was tough, I know I could have done a much better job but I was too emotionally invested and didn't want to go that deep, especially being that my husband is gone and I won't see him for another two months and that I'm currently pregnant and having a miscarriage is my biggest fear in the world right now (even though I'm 24 weeks along and have heard her heartbeat several times)


	20. Is This Love

Youtube Is This Love by Thomas Anderson

A/N: Wow! Lots of reads thats great, seriously it makes my day! I am so glad that I have all these reads but honestly I'm a little frustrated, I have NO CLUE how the writing is because I'm not getting ANY reviews. This story has over 13,000 views! Holy Crap! And at least 400 people who have read the whole story start to finish. Please keep in mind without reviews for all I know you hate the story.

I hope you enjoy : )

* * *

**October 31st, 2001**

"Don't you think it's a bit belittling? The fake noses and the warts, all the black hair with huge chunks of grey?" Severus sat at his kitchen table, picking through the bowl of leftover candy in front of him deciding what looked best to satisfy his sweet tooth.

"No, not really." Hermione was standing in front of the fridge with the door wide open, wiping off shelves and tossing out leftovers that had obviously been sitting there for too long. "I was a witch for halloween one year, it was one of my favourite costumes. I had to beg my mum for months to let me, she always told me that I couldn't be something evil."

"That, I find offensive." Severus said with a smirk on his face, finally settling on one of the few chocolate bars left in the bowl. "And I would love to see that photo!"

"It's gone Sev. It was in the house when I obliviated them."

"I'm so sorry, I should have known better." Severus got up from the table. He stood behind the hurting witch and wrapped his arms around her waist, closing the refrigerator door despite Hermiones protests. He gently pushed back her hair and nuzzled into the crook of her neck, kissing her gently a couple times.

"Severus Snape!" Hermione playfully reprimanded, "Your fridge is horrid, and I will be so busy with work this week that I probably wont be here again until next monday." She turned and kissed him on the mouth and then broke free from his arms and continued cleaning out the fridge.

Severus knew it was best to just let her finish, he had been cleaning his own home for years but he felt it best not to point that out to her as she was pulling various containers out and looking them over, trying to decide if they had gone bad. He quietly slipped upstairs to change out of his standard black billowing robes while she was looking over leftover pizza that, he hated to admit, had been there for at least two weeks.

When he came back down stairs in jeans and a plain black tee shirt he stepped into the living room, grabbing the latest book he was reading off the coffee table and settling into his chair to read while she finished. He had been on page 108 of this book for weeks now, he was quickly realizing that he didn't have as much free time as he used to. Either he was brewing potions for his many customers or he was spending his time at Hermione's flat. He was glad to finally be able to catch up on his reading.

He read three pages before realizing he had no clue what any of it had said. He tried again, thinking he just needed to focus more. However a paragraph in he realized it din't matter how hard he tried to focus. He looked up at Hermione humming as she started cleaning off the bottom shelf. She looked so natural standing in his kitchen. She had changed out of her princess halloween costume as soon as the last trick-or-treater had left the drivway and was currently wearing a tank top and spandex shorts, as well as the cotton cardigan she had been wearing when he saw her in Grimauld place for the first time after the war. He quickly learned it was her favourite, but it was very worn at this point. Her hair was pulled into a pony tail on the top of her head, the only thing that remained of her costume was the tiara still sitting in her hair.

Sometimes he still found himself fascinated that she was with him. After Lily he had never wanted to be with anyone, he assumed it would always be that way, but slowly she had worked her way into his heart. They had become good friends after Harry and Ginny's wedding, eventually leading to several dates a week. On new years eve right before midnight Severus referred to Hermione as his girlfriend for the first time and they had been together since. Severus wasn't the best at showing his emotions and Hermione generally let him take the lead so while they spent many afternoons together they rarely stayed the night with one another. Severus could count on one hand the number of times he was blessed with the honor to wake up next to her.

He couldn't take his eyes off her as she closed the fridge and started on cleaning up the rest of the kitchen. He rarely left a mess on the counter and he frequently cleaned the sink out but that didn't stop her from cleaning it again. He had never been in a relationship before, and had never thought of marriage after Lily, but he knew this felt right. He was so comfortable with her just being there, yet he had never taken it for granted. For months he was sure that she was just going to get over being with him, but with her reassurance he was realizing that wasn't the case.

At first he wouldn't make plans more than a month in advance, he was sure to not make her feel trapped. She had never figured out what his motive for this was until he asked her to go with him to Draco's wedding. She had been furious that he only asked her a week before the wedding, after she knew that he had known about it for four months. He finally broke down, after hours of her questioning, and explained why he hadn't asked her before. She told him in no uncertain terms that she wasn't going anywhere.

He had never felt before like he did now, he found himself anxious every time he knew she was coming over. He spent extra time selecting his clothing, and had even stopped wearing his standard black attire all the time. Every time he saw her his heart began to swell and he would have given anything to be with her day in and day out. He would lay down at night and the second her closed his eyes he would dream of her, every morning he found himself wondering what she was doing. He had been staring at her, watching her every movement as she danced around the kitchen for almost twenty minutes when she finished what she was doing and looked up and caught him.

"What?" Hermione stopped what she was doing and looked at him defensively. "Is it the tiara? Do I look ridiculous? You could have said something." She seemed hurt as she began to reach up and detangle the remains of her costume out of her hair. She didn't notice Severus slide beside her and pull down her hands, properly adjusting it back on her head.

"No, it's perfect." He smiled at her, "You're perfect"

"Then why were you staring?" She still looked hurt

"Hermione, you are..." He didn't know what to say or how to say it, "you are so beautiful. And I tried reading, but was having a really hard time concentrating." He pulled her closer to himself.

"I should get going Severus."

"Please don't. Please stay," The look in his eyes begging her to not move from where she was.

"We talked about this," Hermione was trying her best not to hurt him. "I'm just not comfortable with us staying the night together on a regular basis Sev, not right now."

"I know, but please." He didn't know how to convince her to stay. He didn't care that they hadn't done anything more intimate than snogging like teenagers on his couch, he didn't care that he'd never so much as seen her in her underwear. He just knew that she had to stay, he knew that he didn't want to go to bed without her by his side ever again.

"Alright," She sighed, as much as she wanted to stay, to fall asleep by his side and never leave him, she didn't want to get more attached to him before she knew how he felt. "But I need to get to bed. I need to go brush my teeth, I'll meet you upstairs when I'm done?" He nodded and she headed to his bathroom.

He walked upstairs quickly, making sure he allowed himself enough time to clean up any mess that may be in his room. He was thankful that he kept his room clean because Hermione stepped into the bedroom moments after he did, climbing into bed and pulling the covers around herself as he changed into pajamas.

Severus climbed in next to her and magically locked the home and shut off the lights. He looked over at her and smiled, she already had her head on her pillow and her eyes closed but had forgotten and left the tiara on. He very gently began to take it off, knowing there was a good chance she was already asleep.

"Huhmn?" Hermione opened her eyes and looked around and then up at him.

"Go back to sleep dear." He kissed her forehead and pushed the hair back from her face. When he got settled into bed next to her he noticed her eyes were wide open.

"What is it Hermione?"

She let out a soft sad sigh, "Nothing."

She rolled over and faced the wall as he looked at the back of her head, wishing he knew what was wrong. He inhaled deeply and placed his hand on her shoulder, rolling him back to face him.

"What?" She looked hurt and upset and he didn't know why, but he knew it was now or never and that he didn't know how to work up this courage again.

"Hermione," He looked into her eyes, praying how he felt was radiating through him and into her, "I love you."

At first she just looked at him in disbelief. Then a smile started to spread across her face.

"I love you too Severus. I've waited so long to hear you say that." She pulled him closer to her and kissed him deeply.

"I'm sorry it took so long, but I do. I love you, more than I thought it was possible to love someone."

She had been waiting months for him to say this to her, and suddenly she was filled with so much emotion that she didn't know how to process it. She pulled him closer into her, kissing him and trying to put as much emotion as she could into it.

"I love you Severus." She looked into his eyes and pulled him in again for one more deep passionate kiss. Just as he was about to pull away from her she dug her nails into his neck, forcing him to stay and awakening something in him that he didn't know how to control.

"Hermione, please." He tried to pull away from her, knowing that in a moment she was going to tell him it was time for bed.

"Severus, please?" She looked at him, her eyes full of a hunger he had never seen before, she began to kiss him again, more passionately and she continued to dig her nails into his skin. He felt her hips press into his.

"Are you...?" He did't want to assume anything, but he was certain this is what she was asking for. "What do you want?" He thought it best to bluntly ask.

She kissed him once more and slipped one of her hands up the front of his shirt to feel his firm chest.

"Make love to me Severus."

* * *

A/N: I hate to harp but seriously please review!


	21. From My Front Porch Looking In

A/N: Sorry this has taken so long I have NO CLUE what to write about lately. I'm also so sorry that it's short. Hopefully getting this one out will give me some inspiration! All the reviews last chapter were AMAZING!

* * *

"Daddy, daddy..." A little girl with wispy brown hair ran up to the side of the bed. She was barely three years old and even on her tippy toes had a hard time trying to climb onto the bed.

"Hmnm?" The older man in the bed looked over as he opened his eyes, trying to adjust to the morning light. When he noticed what we going on he held his arms over the bed to give the little girl something to pull on as she climbed up.

"Daddy, Mommy said to come get you. She said to stop being a sleepy head." The little girl was climbing under the blanket, trying to snuggle up to the older man.

"Did she?" The older man hadn't even fully opened his eyes yet, "Why does she say I need to wake up?"

"Because, she said that um..." The little girl paused and looked over at the man with jet black hair, "I forget." The toddler looked down and nuzzled herself into her fathers neck.

"It's okay sweetie. Lets lay her for another minute and then we'll get up and go ask her for ourselves. How does that sound?"

"That sounds good. Will you still take Abigail and I to the park today?"

"I don't think I agreed to that Emily," He smiled at her, she was tucked under the blanket with her arms and her face sticking out. She was holding her stuffed rabbit up in the air, and making it fly back and forth into the air. "But I would love to take you to the park today."

He leaned over and kissed the child on the forehead, pushing back a strand of her soft brown hair first.

"Okay bear, lets get up." He stood up and threw the comforter back. Stepping into his slippers at the edge of the bed he turned allowing the girl to climb onto his back. He felt like he had put on more than 10 years in the past decade.

"Hope on," She climbed on his back and he slowly walked out of the bedroom. He looked down the long hallway as he trotted down towards the kitchen. He was so glad he and his wife had found this house when she was pregnant with Emily. The photos on the wall showed how happy their life was. Moving photos of them on their wedding day. More than a dozen photos of various birthday parties, and endless photos of their daily life. There was always a camera on their kitchen table and it was put to use on a daily basis.

They'd finally reached the kitchen and he let the little girl down from his back. She ran over to the kitchen table and climbed up onto the chair, beginning to color with her older sister. The older man leaned down and kissed Emily, she continued to color not looking up.

"What about us?" His wife looked over at him and smiled, flipping pancakes with one hand and resting the other on her giant stomach. Her due date was a month away but she already looked like she was going to pop.

"Good Morning Baby," He leaned down and kissed her stomach, "Good morning Hermione." He pulled his wife into his arms and kissed her deeply, he let one hand slip down her back, resting on her still perfect ass, while the other tangled into her long hair.

"Good Morning Mr. Snape." She tried to pull away from the kiss but instead accidentally let out a low moan.

"Mommy, Daddy, Gross!" Abigail had stopped coloring for a moment long enough to look up and be disgusted by their parents snogging session in the kitchen.

"Mommy, your pancakes are burning!" Emily was used to her parents doing this, she was eight years old and her parents had consistently been open with their affection.

"Right," Hermione finally broke free from her husband, turning back to the stove. After fixing his cup of coffee and checking on the girls he went back to Hermione's side. He quickly cast Muffliato and slipped his hands around her waist. Leaning over he whispered in her ear,

"Are you worn out from last night? Or do you think that after the park today I could floo Harry and ask him and Ginny to take the girls for a few hours?" He started biting her neck, trailing up to her ear, slowly taking her ear lobe into his mouth.

"You hate having to ask the Potters for help," Hermione was trying her best to focus on cooking breakfast, but her knees were slowly growing week at her husbands touch.

"I usually do, but pretty soon our little one will be here and then it'll be several weeks until I get to make love to you again." He continued running his hands over her body, now suckling closer to her breast.

"Yes, Sev. I'll floo them once I finish breakfast." He knew she would never turn him down, especially when he was working her the way only he could. "Now stop, the girls need to eat. And we cant do this here, after breakfast love."

They turned to their two little girls, and started to get everything they needed for breakfast on the table. As Hermione was getting the girls everything they needed Severus looked over to his family and felt so blessed that he had an amazing wife, and two, almost three, beautiful children.

* * *

**July 3, 2010**

**Bzzzt. Bzzzt. Bzzzt. **

The box he had placed a charm on to act as an alarm clock began to buzz and shake, starting slowly and picking up pace. He rolled over to his nightstand saying some silencing charms to make it stop.

"Fuck." He opened his eyes and looked around the room. He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath, opening his eyes one last time and praying for a different result. He squeezed his eyes tightly taking a deep breath and opening them again. He was in his bed, on Spinners End, alone.

"No." He picked up the empty liquor bottle on his end stand and threw it across the room, it made contact with the wall, shattered and he heard all the pieces slid down the wall. "Bloody Fucking Hell." He screamed out in anguish. He had dreamt of her every night, it started a month before she left and hadn't stopped. Every single morning he woke up expecting to see her, and he was always there alone. But this was different.

It had always been just her in the dream, and as equally as he dreamed about making love to her he dreamed about them sitting in their living room reading with each other, but it was only ever them. He sat up, noticing there was another bottle of vodka on his end stand with only a couple shots left it in. He downed them easily and put his arm down, bottle still in hand, to his lap. But this time, those two little girls, they looked just like them. And Hermione, swollen with his child, waddling around the kitchen as she tried to keep her balance. She had literally been glowing, he had never seen her look so perfect. "For the love of Fucking Merlin" He screamed out again, throwing the second bottle against the wall as well, tears streaming from his eyes. He had tried to control himself but he had lost all of that at this point. His whole body was shaking as he sobbed loudly into his hands.

Once he regained an ounce of his self control he headed towards the kitchen, to find more alcohol. As he poured an extra long shot of vodka down his throat he closed his eyes and said allowed,

"I should have given her children. She deserved children."

* * *

A/N: So I hope that was clear enough but in case it was not, The first half was a dream. Then he woke up


	22. We're Gonna Die Young

A/N: I didn't mean for this chapter to be so deep. I really meant to write a light fluffy one. I promise I'll try to get a good one up tonight!

* * *

**September 19th, 2001**

When she was younger Hermione's parents used to drive by this bar about every week. It was on the way to their favourite grocery store, and during the day it always looked so classy on the outside. It wasn't a trashy club where in the middle of the day you could tell what happened there during the night time, in fact she didn't know it was a bar until she was about ten years old. One day her mother took her out to get ice cream very late at night, she had been bullied at school for months, and on that day her two "friends" started bullying her as well. They drove past it and Hermione remembered being so impressed. Her mother had to explain to her what it was.

As her mom told her, in very innocent terms, about bars and clubs, Hermione wished her life could be like that. A group of friends, getting dressed up, and doing their hair, wearing high heels and going to party together, that year on Hermione's birthday when she blew out her candles she wished that someday she would have friends and could go there with her friends.

As she stood, waiting in line to get in, she remembered how badly she had wanted to be here. Thinking that now, she would rather be at Severus' house eating dinner, than here with her best friends. She had wanted to stay in, but Ginny showed up insisting that she had to go out, and Severus silently agreed.

He would have loved for her to stay in, but he knew it was in her best interest to go spend time with her friends. Regardless of how long their relationship lasted, he knew he was much older than her, and it was healthy for her to bond with people her age.

"Aren't you glad you came out Mione?" Ginny could tell her mind was wandering.

"Yeah, I guess. I'm really glad that you all came with me." Hermione never had a lot of female friends so she tended to morph into Ginny's group of friends.

"It's starting to get chilly out. This line needs to move faster." Lavender Brown had been hesitant to form a friendship with Hermione at first. They both had a long history with Ron, but Hermione had made it clear she was not interested in him anymore.

"Finally," Ginny grabbed her hand as the two of them walked into the club, followed by a group of their 4 closest friends.

She felt like a child as she walked in. It was everything she had hoped for, there were bartenders pouring complicated shots, and people carrying varied drinks. There was a large dance floor with small stages on the side and a DJ at the back. People were everywhere and Hermione instantly forgot about wanting to be at Severus'. Hermione stood there, looking around, realizing that she felt like she really fit in. Her hair fell below her shoulders, landing right under her breasts, and Ginny had used a spell to make it perfectly straight.

Before going out they all had gotten ready at the Burrow, putting on makeup, and selecting outfits that flattered them. Ginny hadn't let the birthday girl have any say in what she wore, so she ended up in skin tight light denim jeans, and black leather boots that went over her knee. Hermione tried to stand her ground when Ginny handed her a strapless top that hardly covered her belly button but Ginny simply handed her a black leather jacket to go over it and said it wasn't optional. By the time Ginny started loading on jewelry Hermione had decided to stop fighting her.

"I brought shots," Ginny said with a mischievous smile on her face.

"Here goes nothing," Hermione smiled as she downed the drink her friend handed her.

With each passing hour the girls drank multiple shots and shared several mixed drinks. Ginny and the other girls were trying to drink moderately, however that didn't stop them from ordering a drink for Hermione every time hers ran empty. Hermione was so glad that being here had lived up to her expectations as a child.

They had stepped into the club at nine pm and by one am when they were yelling "Last Call" Hermione was wasted. The girls had been forcing alcohol towards her all night and as Hermione stumbled out of the bar they realized they had succeeded in forcing their friend to enjoy her birthday.

"Alright, lets get you home 'Mione." Now it was just Ginny and Hermione, their other friends had taken off and the red head had been trying to get Hermione in an alleyway so they could apparate for over ten minutes.

"No, I don't want to go home," Hermione slurred her words together.

"Well, we can't stay here,"

"I want to go, to Severuseses" She added a few too many letters to the end of his name, but seemed very insistent.

"Hermione, it's one am. I highly doubt he'll be awake."

"Ssokay, I have a key. He gave me a key." She smiled widely.

"I thought you had to work in the morning," Ginny knew Severus was a good man, but didn't feel it was right to just drop off her best friend their, totally drunk.

"Nope." She smiled, "I told them I had a doctors appointment," With this she began to chuckle.

"Alright, I'll help you get to Spinners End." Ginny realized that Hermione was an adult and if she really wanted to get there she would anyways.

"Yay! Thank you," Hermione threw her arms around Ginny in a hug.

Moments later the two woman appeared on the front steps of Severus Snapes home. Ginny helped Hermione sort through her keys until she found the right one. She let herself in and smiled at Ginny,

"Thank you, tonight was perfect."

"You're Welcome Hermione, I'm so glad you came out. Enjoy your night darling."

As Hermione stepped into the house, Ginny apperated home with a small pop.

Hermione made her way up the stairs in a less than graceful manner, wishing she could take off her shoes but realizing that wasn't going to happen until she was sitting down and had help. Finally she found her way to the bedroom door and gained her composure for a minute, walking into the room as quietly as she could.

Severus was fast asleep in the middle of his large bed, pillows and blankets surrounding him. From the glow of the moonlight coming in through the curtain Hermione could see that he was topless and most likely in the middle of a dream as his body was stirring frequently and he seemed to be mumbling something she couldn't quite make out.

She walked over to the bed and tossed a couple of the extra blankets and pillows on the floor, then slowly, as to not fall over, she climbed onto the bed and crawled over to Severus' sleeping figure. They had been together for months and Hermione had only seen him sleeping in his bed a handful of times. Without thinking about what she was doing she swung one leg over his body so she was straddling his private area.

She sat there for a minute getting comfortable and leaned forward kissing him as fully on the mouth as she could manage in her intoxicated state. Only an instant after she kissed him he leapt up and reached for his wand, quickly noticing it was Hermione he set the wand back down and laid back a bit.

"What the hell, do you know how dangerous that could have been?"

"I'm sorry, I just... wanted you."

Severus was slowly realizing how intoxicated his girlfriend was.

"Hermione, what are you doing?" He took full stock of the situation.

"I was out, with my friends. And then I wanted to see you, so now I'm here." She explained leaning in again and beginning to bite his neck. He pushed her off again.

"Hermione, you need to stop. I don't have the strength to push you away tonight." He was getting increasingly irritated the longer this escapade went on.

"Then don't Sev, lets do it." She started to pull off her shirt, before he stopped her.

"No, I will not have our first time be when you're too drunk to function." He finally used his strength to get out from under her and stand up next to the bed. "How much have you had to drink anyways?"

"I don't really know, Ginny just kept bringing me shots. And Lavender kept ordering huge drinks that she would take a few sips of and pass off to me..." Hermione was reaching for the buttons of Severus' pants as she spoke.

"You need to stop! Now!" He all but screamed at her, she looked up, shocked and a little hurt.

"Why don't you want me?" She could feel the tears forming in her eyes.

"Hermione," He leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips, "You know I do, but not like this. Can we please talk for a minute without you trying to undress me?" He tried to speak softly, knowing it was the only way she was going to cooperate.

"I suppose," she sighed as she adjusted herself so she was sitting up and her legs were hanging off the side of the bed.

"How was dinner?" Severus made casual conversation as he accio-ed some things from downstairs.

"We actually didn't end up going. We just went out."

"Hermione," he could feel his blood starting to boil, "What have you _eaten_ today?"

She looked away for a moment, trying to recall what she had for breakfast or lunch. Finally she looked at him with a smile on her face,

"Vodka, and Tequilla, and if I remember correctly I think I had some Rum."

"Bloody Fucking Hell." He turned around and paced for a few moments before walking over to the wall and punching it with a closed fist as hard as he could. Hermione jumped and looked at him with wide eyes trying to decide if it was safe to speak to him.

"Severus, what is the big deal?"

He looked at her, furious beyond belief and didn't understand how she didn't get why this was a problem. He didn't want to have this conversation drunk, but he also knew it couldn't wait.

"Hermione, you can't keep doing this." His anger was quickly fading and by the time he walked back over to her he had tears in his eyes.

"What is the problem Severus? It was just drinks with my friends... it wasn't a big deal."

"Hermione, you're going to get yourself killed. Being magical does not make you invincible. You show up here, at least a couple times a week, so drunk you can barely stand up, and the most you'll have eaten is a slice of toast, or a piece of fruit. Are you trying to get alcohol poisoning? And why is it that you never eat when you drink? What do you eat on regular days?"

"Um... usually the same."

"What do you mean 'the same'?" His face was covered in confusion now

"I don't usually eat. It's just so much easier to not eat than to worry about calories. If I just don't eat it's so much simpler." She was swinging her legs back and forth and looking around as if nothing was happening. Meanwhile Severus had sat down on the bed next to her and started rubbing her back with one hand.

"Hermione, are you telling me that you just don't eat?" He didn't know how to process what she was saying.

"Not usually, it's not a big deal. Sometimes I eat, it's just so much easier to eat nothing. And I've lost a lot of weight, not enough of course, but quite a bit."

He inhaled deeply and looked over to her. He hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary in the past few months, no huge changes, so when he looked at her and noticed just how thin she looked he was stunned.

"Hermione," He started, wanting to tell her this was insane. Wishing he could explain to her how thin she was. He wanted to tell her she was perfect, and that she needed to take better care of herself. But as soon as he said her name he just started sobbing. Something about seeing him break down sobered Hermione up a little, she pulled him into her body as he cried, wishing she knew why he was so upset.

"I'm sorry Sev. I'll stop drinking. Please," She looked at him pleadingly. "Please don't leave me Severus."

He stopped crying, he couldn't believe she was honestly worried he was going to leave.

"Hermione, why are you trying to loose weight?"

She paused, he could tell she didn't want to answer. "Because, she's just so perfect. I feel like I can't compete with her. I've always wanted to be thinner, I can't remember a time in my life when I wasn't trying to loose weight. But knowing how much more attractive than me she is... I guess it pushed me over the edge."

"Hermione, you are perfect. And in comparison to Ginny? I can't believe that..." He tried to keep talking but she cut him off.

"I'm talking about Lily, Severus. You loved her, she was stunning. And I can't compete with that." He was stunned.

"You've never been competing with her. I want to be with you Hermione." He had started to get her undressed and into bed. He worked off her tall boots and helped her slide out of her pants. As he laid her down in his bed he softly pushed her hair back and kissed her forehead.

He climbed into bed next to her, wishing that she could see herself how he saw her. As he drifted off to sleep he tried to think of ways to prove to her just how much he cared for her.


	23. Whistle

**A/N: WARNING! Absolute Smut, probably poorly written and I apologize for that!**

* * *

**January 9th, 2002**

She had woken up before him, this was such an unusual occurrence that for a moment Hermione considered waking Severus up, simply because she wasn't sure what to do. Quickly she realized it would be insane to waste this opportunity to study him without his knowing. She rolled on her side so she could lay down and look him over at the same time.

Since he said "I love you" a couple months ago she had been staying at his house more often than not, with how stubborn they both were neither approached the issue, and instead of living together officially Hermione spent all week at Severus' house, with him spending most weekends at her flat.

Usually by the time she woke up he had been awake for hours, and was either downstairs reading or, very rarely, laying in bed just waiting for her to wake up. She wasn't sure if she should feel self conscious or adored the few times she woke up and saw him looking over at her. Sometimes when she drifted in and out of sleep she could swear that she heard him talking to her, telling her things he would never say when she was awake, but by the time she woke up she had forgotten everything.

"Severus," she whispered making sure he was really asleep. When she was certain that he was she started, "Severus, I love you so much. I really don't think you understand just how deeply I love you. Before you came back into my life I never thought I could have it all. I was certain I would have to give something up. But then you came along, and now I really feel like I can honestly have everything I've ever wanted in life." She paused, worried he may have woken up. She leaned over and kissed his forehead, waiting a moment more.

"I can't wait to have your children, and I'm so glad that you're not going to push getting married. I just can't, not without my family there. And you understand that, I don't know how I got so lucky." At this point she could see him starting to fidget, she was sure he would be awake any moment now.

He rolled on his side and started to open his eyes,

"Good Morning Severus," She smiled leaning over and kissing him.

"G'mornin 'Mione" He still wasn't fully awake

"Happy Birthday Love" She was leaning in to continue kissing him.

"Don't remind me," He was fully alert now, but not yet responding to her affections. She couldn't help but notice he was actually pulling away.

"What's wrong Sev?" At this point she was outright ignoring his rejection and pushing back with aggression. She had gone from simply kissing him to working her hand down his pants and starting to pull off her shirt with the other.

"Hermione, please stop."

"Why, what's wrong?" She still hadn't stopped trying to get him to respond to her.

"Hermione, I'm officially another year older than you. I'm just too old for you Hermione." With this she finally stopped.

"Severus, cut the crap. We aren't doing this today! You are going to wake up, and be in a good mood. You WILL enjoy your birthday and you will be happy about it! And no good birthday, starts without a little birthday sex," She leaned in and continued her pursuit, this time without meeting his resistance.

"Will I really?" He rolled over slightly so his body was pressed against hers, almost on top of it, while she lied flat on her back.

"Mmm, yes. You will." She began slipping her hand down the back of his pants.

"And are _you_ going to enjoy this?" She laughed into the crook of his neck while he was nibbling her ear lobe.

"I might, if you keep doing that." He smiled at her as he slipped her shirt off. He had been hesitant to begin, but now that he had he was more than ready to go. He slid off her pants and panties quicker than he had done away with her shirt. He was kissing her neck and began to move his way down, stopping and spending several minutes flicking her nipple with his tongue, we was continuing his trail down to her bellybutton when she pulled him back up,

"It's _your_ birthday Sev," A smirk spread across her face as she used all her strength to roll him onto his back next to her, she had no problem admitting that she couldn't have done it if he wasn't willing.

"And what does that mean? You know I enjoy take... you know..." He had begun to loose focus as, at this point, she had slipped off his boxers and was kissing down his chest, once she reached his hip area she began bitting gently. Slowly working inwards she stopped putting as much pressure into the bites and started sucking a little more until eventually she was just on the edge of his crotch.

"You'll like this a lot more I bet." She smiled up at him before leaning forward and taking his whole length in her mouth while using her hand to gently massage his sack. While he had gone down on her plenty of times she had never returned the favour because his tongue being pressed against her moist mound had always quickly led to sex. The second her mouth wrapped around him several things happened at once; his hips bucked up, his fingernails dug into the sheets, and he cried out so fiercely that she would have guessed he had been shot. She worked her tongue up and down for a moment before pausing and looking up. She let her hand take over for her mouth briefly,

"Would you like me to keep going?" She pushed herself forward to kiss him deeply.

"Mnmhmm, Yes. Please." He mumbled, without loosing the sense of urgency in his voice. She travelled back down to where she was, kissing, and nibbling the entire way. She finally got situated between his legs again and looked up at him, never breaking eye contact she again took his entire length in her mouth and worked up and down, slowly at first but picking up speed and intensity as she went on. She was very gently fondling the place between his body and her lips that she couldn't quite cover.

"Merlin, Fuck Yes Hermione..." He moaned as he stared deeply into her eyes.

She continued at the same pace, not slowing down or speeding up any faster, simply working at the pace she had been at.

Within moments she could tell he was about to climax, he gave her a look as if to say move now if you want to. She kept sucking for a few moments longer. Finally at the instant she could tell he was going to finish she dug her fingernails into his bucking hips and went deeper than she had been able to thus far. With that she felt him explode in her mouth, moaning loudly as he did, his hips slowly moving less and less as his orgasm washed over him.

She swallowed, smiled, and worked her way back up to where he was laying. She kissed him and began sucking on his neck as his body slowly stopped trembling.

"Hermione, that was bloody brilliant." He looked at her, exhausted, and full of appreciation.

"Thank you," She kept bitting his neck.

"What are you trying to do? Kill me?" He pulled away, taking her face in his hands and giving her a long deep kiss.

"Happy Birthday Severus." She smiled at his widely after fully returning the kiss.


	24. Just Give Me A Reason

**July 23rd, 2020**

"I didn't think she was coming Severus. She told me she had to work, _she_ thought she had to work. What did you want me to do? Tell her she had to leave because you were here?" Harry was standing with Severus in the kitchen of his home. All the other guests from Lily's birthday party had left and now the only people remaining were her parents, and her godparents. Hermione was standing out in the yard with Ginny picking up the mess.

"Well.. Of course not. I just... I didn't think she would be here." Severus had been thoroughly shaken since Hermione casually walked into the back yard of the Potters.

"I know it must be tough, being this is the first time you've seen her. But it's not a big deal, the weddings next month. She's fine, you've both moved on. What is the issue?" Severus shifted uncomfortably as he grabbed a beer from the fridge, the motion not escaping Harry's notice.

"What the bloody hell is going on?"

"This wasn't technically the first time I've seen her. She showed up at my house a few months ago. She came to congratulate me." Severus took a small sip off his drink.

"So what's the issue? You should be really fine then?" Harry continued to clean up, and Severus thought how daft could one person be.

"She kissed me, well... I kissed her... There was a kiss." He continued drinking and helping pick up as if he had said nothing of importance.

"Andd..." Harry had stopped what he was doing trying to get more details.

"And she left. And now she's here. It's just... awkward Potter. Now, would you like to have a slumber party and discuss this whilst waiting on our nail polish to dry or can we move on?" While he and Harry had become very close friends in the past few years Severus still held onto several of his old, cranky, personality traits, and their conversation was becoming much to personal and emotional for Severus to allow.

"Okay. Well, I think you need to talk to her then. I'm just saying. Just talk to her Severus, she isn't a dementor. She's my best friend, she's the woman you loved for years, she was almost the mother of your child. Just go talk to her."

"Fine, I'm going to say goodbye to Lily and find Hermione. But if this goes poorly Potter." He said with a small hint of a threat to his tone while he was walking out the sliding glass door to find his goddaughter and then Hermione. Before he stepped out the door he turned around,

"What do you mean she was 'amost the mother of my child'?"

"Just that you two had seriously talked about it. Go talk to her,"Harry said without missing a beat.

Twenty minutes later they were standing in the middle of Hermione's kitchen, making small talk about the birthday party while Hermione made tea. She had refused to go to his house to talk but felt that her flat was fair game.

"I can't believe she's 17" Hermione turned getting cups out of the cupboard.

"I know, she was so small, it seems like it was just a few years ago."

"Severus, can we please just... just cut to the chase here. Can we please just be honest as well? Or should I go get some Veritaserum?" She sighed a little not knowing what was about to happen.

"What do you want to know Hermione?"

"I met her. I understand now, why you chose her, she her spitting image almost"

"What? Who?"

"Elizabeth... I met her. She's very pretty, she looks just like Lily, it's easy to see what initially attracted you to her." Severus wasn't sure which he was more shocked over, the news that she had met Elizabeth or the thought that he had chosen her based on looks.

"She approached me actually." Was all he could manage.

"Well, it worked out for you then." She rolled her eyes a bit, fully irritated at him.

"You want honesty Hermione?" He stood up from the table and slammed his chair back with perhaps more force than he intended. "I haven't had a single feeling for her in YEARS Hermione. Since the first night you ever slept in my bed I haven't thought about Lily in a romantic or sexual manner once. I haven't thought of her for even a second Hermione. I'm not going to sit here and let you continue to make me feel like hell for something I didn't do."

Hermione was a little taken aback by his forcefulness.

"Have you been drinking?"

"No... well, yes. But not a lot. Not enough for it to alter my thoughts. Do you want to talk or sling mud Hermione." He started to sit back down.

"I'm sorry, please, lets talk." She came and sat at the end of the table near him.

"I want you to be honest with me, please, just... please answer the questions I have to ask you honestly." He knew he couldn't deny her this as she stared pleadingly into his eyes.

"Okay, but only if you do the same for me."

"Okay, I'll start?" He nodded in agreement.

"Who ended our relationship?"

"You did." He looked like being honest may kill him

"Why do you think that?" She was already hopelessly confused.

"You refused to marry me. My turn, have you ever regretted not marrying me?"

"I didn't end it, you did because you refused to have children with me. And yes. About a two months after I moved out. I had... something happened, and I realized I should have married you. Did you ever regret leaving me?"

"I didn't leave you!" At this point he was getting mildly defensive.

"Yes you did. You didn't want children with me, so you left me"

"Are you kidding? Do you even know what happened?"

"Severus, have you ever just wished we stayed together."

He sighed loudly, he didn't want to have this conversation. He didn't want to talk about things he couldn't change, and part of him wanted to lie, make up an excuse, and go back to his home where he knew there were at least two full liquor bottles waiting. Until he looked into her eyes and realized he couldn't lie anymore. He knew nothing would change, he knew it would just bring him pain, but he just needed all the cards laid on the table so he could move on and accept his fate.

"Yes I thought about it... frequently."

Neither of them really knew what to say they had thought a certain way for so long, to suddenly be told they were maybe mistaken was earth shattering.

"Do _you _ever wish you had just given in Severus? I was honest with you, please be honest with me." She saw the hurt on his face and was ready for the pain she knew would come when he said no.

"I've wished I had behaved differently Every. Single. Day Hermione. Since a couple months after you moved out... I had this dream and," he sighed silently, "and I realized it didn't matter. I realized all that mattered was you. I saw how wonderful our life could have been, and I realized I had made a huge mistake."

At this point Hermione was so close to tears that she didn't know how to pull herself together.

"Thank you for telling me, I'm guessing you haven't shared that you, at one point, regretted your decision with your fiancé so I won't let anyone know what you've told me. I think maybe you should go now." She stood up, knowing if he didn't leave she would fall apart.

"Is that what you want?" He looked so hurt and rejected, after baring his soul to her she was just kicking him out? He couldn't believe he had been honest.

"No, but you're getting married next month and now that we know how the other felt there is no reason to keep talking about it. Whats past is past. You felt one way, now you feel another... it's fine."

"Except it isn't fine Hermione. Because I don't feel differently now, you do and I understand that, I wouldn't expect anything else. But I don't."

"I'm sorry, you don't what?" Hermione was starting to see that maybe she was very wrong in her assessment of his feelings.

"I don't feel differently. Yes, I am supposed to get married next month. That isn't because I feel an undying love for her. It's because one night, years ago in a bar I was very drunk and brought a woman home with me. I woke up expecting for her to be gone and instead she was standing in my kitchen, making breakfast, talking about going to the theater that afternoon." He figured if he was going to be honest now was the time to lay everything out. "I'm scheduled to be married next month because it was comforting to be wanted, and she didn't say anything about how frequently I drank. It was easy to go on dates, and have her stay at my house. She isn't in my life because I invited her, she's in my life because she was as desperate for companionship as I was, but instead of hiring prostitutes and drinking herself into a comma everyday, she found a guy she thought she could stand and put up with the bullshit and pain of being the only interested party in a relationship."

Hermione went to go speak, but he stopped her, knowing that if he didn't continue he was going to loose nerve.

"She moved in because the lease on her flat ran out, and we were logically having a conversation about where she should go. When I asked her to move in I guess I was too intoxicated to annunciate when I said 'for a little while'. I don't hate her, she is a caring person and she does bring a small amount of happiness to my life. But I don't love her. The only reason we're engaged is because we were at a restaurant one night and I took a glass of champagne off a tray and downed it before walking back to our seat. Once I did I had someone else's ring in hand because I was trying to figure out what I almost choked on, she was so desperate for me to ask that she didn't question anything. She just said yes."

He took a moment to clear his throat and take a sip of his tea.

"And I didn't correct her, because I realized you were never coming back. I realized you were probably happily with someone, with a couple children and that my life was never going to get better. So I let her believe it, just because I was miserable didn't mean she needed to be. She was, and is, a very caring person. If that was what she wanted I saw no reason to tell her no," he paused and gathered all his strength to finish his revelations looking into her eyes.

"My life ended the day you drove off Spinners End Hermione. From that moment on I hoped for nothing, I wanted nothing. I just sat, and drank. I slept with a lot of women hoping that one would fill the void, but they never did. I have dreamt of you every single night, and I have wanted only to die, because living, and feeling this level of pain, was just too much." She was sitting there with tears pooling in the corner of her eyes and he could tell he had gone too far. They sat there in silence for several minutes before Severus spoke.

"I'm sorry, I'll see myself out."

"No." It was weak, and broken, but before he got to the door he knew he had heard it.

"Why? I'm sorry I interrupted your life Hermione. You know how I feel, it's obvious that you've moved on and thats fine. It's good, I want you to be happy I really do."

"Severus..." She started and then quickly chickened out.

"Hermione, I was honest. Please just... just tell me."

"I haven't moved on Sev. You haven't interrupted my life. I never wanted to leave, it just seemed like what we should do. It wasn't important, I don't know why I was so stubborn! And now it's too late."

"What do you mean, 'it's too late'?"

"I mean, I want to be with you. I would do anything to be with you. But you're getting married."

He walked forward, pushed the strands of hair out of her face, and wrapped her in a hug.

"It's not too late Hermione. If you want this, if you want us... It's not too late. I'm not letting you go again unless you specifically tell me to. I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to leave."

"But Elizabeth and... your wedding... and..." Tears were rolling down her face now.

"Hermione, I don't care. I will take care of it. I'm not leaving your side again until you specifically tell me that you don't want me anymore."

He placed her chin in his hand and tilted her head up, kissing her deeply, trying to relay every emotion that he hadn't been able to share for years.


	25. Authors Note (IMPORTANT)

So Sorry to do this again I just wanted to let all my followers know I will be changing the title of this story and the description shortly I didn't want anyone to loose it. The new title is going to be "Just Give Me A Reason", I don't know what the description will day but I will note that it used to be Someone Like You. I plan to delete this note after a few weeks when I'm sure everyones had a chance to see it!

Thank You!


	26. I Hate This Part

**July 23rd, 2020**

"How was the birthday party?" Elizabeth was standing in the kitchen when Severus stepped out of the green flames into his living room. He wasn't sure if she would be home and was almost hoping that she wouldn't be, as he really needed more time to clear his head.

"It was good, the amount of children in the Weasly family seems so excessive. But it's easier to handle now that they have all grown. It's no where near as obnoxious as it was when they were all under six years old." He went to the freezer and poured himself a glass of firewiskey, then walked over and sat down at the kitchen table.

"So, what do you want to do for dinner tonight? We could go out to that new place you've been wanting to try..." She was listing options mindlessly as she scrubbed a pot that was in the sink.

"She was there, Harry said she would be working, but she got the day off I guess." He didn't know how to breach this subject.

"Well..." She paused, obviously taken aback, then started again, deciding she may as well hope for the best. "How is she doing? It must have been awkward seeing her, but you two have a mutual best friend. It was bound to happen once in a while."

He didn't know what to do, so he just ignored her question. "I went over to her flat after the party to talk briefly, Harry suggested I talk to her to clear the air."

A look of realization slowly dawned over her face. He knew she was smart and he had been hoping that she would put the pieces together on her own if he gave her enough hints. He didn't want to have to have this conversation. He had missed Hermione for so long, but that didn't change the fact that he didn't want to hurt someone else.

"Oh? And, how are things between the two of you now?" She was treading very carefully, she had a strong feeling about what was to come, but wasn't ready to admit defeat yet.

Severus looked at her quickly and then looked back to his drink, taking another long swig from it. He swirled the remains in the bottom of the glass for a moment before setting it down.

"Okay." She sighed, tears running silently down her eyes, still working on the now clean pot in the sink.

"I'm sorry Elizabeth. It was never my intention to hurt you. I never could have imagined this is how things would happen, and I truly regret hurting you." He hadn't expected to be upset by this, he finally had what he had been praying for. But still, deep in his heart, there was a small tinge of pain. He wan't sure if it was out of empathy, or if he had grown to care about her more than he realized, but there was a small, almost undetectable amount of pain.

"I always knew, I didn't for a moment believe you wanted to be with me. I'm not angry, I'm hurt, but I'm not mad at you." She finally gave up on the pan and was drying off her hands. "So, how do you want to do this? The only stuff thats mine here is my clothing. So I can be out by tomorrow. What would you like to do about the wedding plans?"

She casually walked over and sat down next to him at the table.

"Elizabeth, we don't need to deal with this right now. I'm not kicking you out to the streets."

"I know that, but I would rather get it over with. I'll go stay with my brother for a while, it won't be a problem."

"Do you want me to handle the wedding details?"

"No, thank you for offering, but I can do it. I understand that this is what is going to happen, and I'm ready to move on with my life. Because I never felt like you were in this with me. It hurts, I wont pretend that it doesn't. But I need to just make a clean break."

"So... what can I do?" He didn't know how to react or what to say.

"The guest list is pinned to the fridge, just let your guests know its off, I'll take care of the rest." She slowly stood up, and after taking one long last look at him and walked upstairs.

An hour later she came back downstairs, Severus hadn't moved, save to get the bottle of, previously full, firewhiskey and sit back down.

"So, I've sent my clothing along to my brother. I'll contact my half of the guest list tomorrow, and I called our wedding planner and she is canceling all of our vendors. So.. everything's taken care of. I'm not upset with you Severus, please don't think I am. I'm just in pain." She walked over and as he stood up, gave him a long hug, trying to savor every last second she had.

"Thank you Elizabeth, I'm so sorry that things turned out this way for you."

He didn't know what to say or do as she stepped into the fireplace and was engulfed with green flames. He didn't know if he would see her again or what his future would hold. But he was surprisingly more upset by her departure than he thought he would be. He didn't know if it was the lost time with Hermione, or knowing he had hurt someone, but as he walked upstairs with the last bottle of liquor he would ever drink he started to cry as he fell into his bed.


End file.
